PUT THIS IN YOUR PIPE

A fair warning to students: the First Amendment
doesn't really apply to you. That's what the U.S. Supreme Court said
last week when it ruled that Joseph Frederick's First Amendment rights
were not violated by his high school principal, who suspended him in
2002 for unveiling a 14-foot banner that read, "Bong Hits 4 Jesus."

Frederick unfurled his banner on a public sidewalk during a
school-sponsored trip to watch a Winter Olympics parade. Principal
Deborah Morse (aka Principal Buzz Kill) confiscated the banner and
suspended Frederick for 10 days.

The Supremes sided with Morse, claiming that any suggestion that the
Son of God smokes weed constitutes a pro-drug message and is therefore
a clear violation of the school district's drug policy.

Apparently the fact that Jesus's Dad created marijuana - according to
Genesis 1:11 this occurred on the third day of creation and "was good"
- - had no influence on the justices' decision whatsoever.

Free-speech advocates blasted the ruling as yet another setback to the
First Amendment rights of students, which are already in tatters. It
seems that America's schools like to teach the Bill of Rights but
don't particularly want to abide by it.

But if this wasn't a good ruling on the part of the Supremes it was at
least humorous, for, in order to deliberate the matter, this bunch of
high falutin' lawyers had to define the term "bong" first. And what
did they in their vast wisdom decide?

Bong is a "slang term for drug paraphernalia."

So rolling papers are bongs? Coke spoons are bongs?

Idiots! Go pick the lint from your robes and leave us - and our water
pipes - alone.