VICTORIA RAID A TICKING BOMB SURE TO BLOW UP REAL GOOD

Well that's it for the holidays, thank god. The New Year is on us with an
ominous chill, and the last rum balls have been thrown out to be replaced
by meagre rations of brown rice and vegetables. So why do I feel all giggly
with anticipation, like a sociopath with a bat poised to greet Santa on the
fireplace hearth?

Could it be the sticky, bouncing-betty scandal bomb that boing'd through
the B.C. Legislature and seven other businesses and homes with connections
to the B.C. and federal Liberal parties? Its flypaper shell has collected
boxes of paperwork, sent unelected executive ministerial assistants flying
and spread innuendo and suspicion on every organization it has crashed
through and now it sits ticking ominously behind a cordon of police tape.

Stay cool, advises the bomb squad, while coyly admitting the device is the
product of a 20-month investigation, has a highly unstable core of
organized crime, illegal drugs and police corruption and has touched some
of the high profile organizers who helped deliver BC Liberal ridings to PM
Paul Martin.

One thing we know for sure: this bomb has an extraordinarily long and
complex fuse and may contain multiple warheads. The first explosion is due
on Jan. 14 when the evidence on which the search warrants are based are due
to be unsealed. Subsequent explosions may take months to come as all 37
boxes of documents and seized computer hard drives from the Legislature
must be sifted by the Supreme Court judge who issued the search warrant to
remove any material protected by cabinet privilege before the remaining
material is turned over to the RCMP officers for examination.

Still more explosions are due when and if charges are finally laid.

As we endure the delicious moments of anticipation, let us consider the
actions of our premier who should know a little bit more about handling
scandal with his-ahem-experience. In the immediate aftermath of the
unprecedented police raid on the offices of David Basi, ministerial
assistant to Finance Minister Gary Collins, and Robert Virk, assistant to
Transportation Minister Judith Reid, Gordo responded by firing Basi and
suspending Virk from their jobs. Decisive action, although Gordo didn't
consider the matter serious enough to cut short his Hawaiian vacation. His
Finance Minister, on the other hand, did consider the matter dire enough to
at least rush back from Hawaii to shrug his shoulders for the cameras
before slinking back to the rim of his volcanic crater.

And what of Deputy Premier Christy Clark who presumably should've stepped
up to the plate to reassure the people of B.C. about the squeaky clean
nature of her government in the absence of her pineapple-obsessed boss?
Apparently she jumped or was pushed through a crack in the earth's crust
during the past week. An action in no way related to the seizure of
documents from her husband Mark Marissen, campaign chair in B.C. for Paul
Martin's leadership bid, and brother Bruce Clark, chief fundraiser for the
B.C. wing of the federal Liberals.

I don't know about the rest of you but from observing the level of skill
the Liberals have exhibited defusing this bomb thus far, I'd say we're
going to be treated to a collosal blast that will blacken the faces of all
in the vicinity. With luck, the shrapnel may even blow a wheel off the big
red Liberal machine just in time for the anticipated spring federal election.