PEOPLE DON'T SELL DRUGS, PHONES SELL DRUGS

So now Vancouver police are removing public pay phones on the Downtown
Eastside because drug dealers use them.

This is the same brilliant logic that brought us the gun registry. I
can almost hear the arguments now.

The first thing to remember is that people don't call drug dealers,
phones do. Treating the causes of drug use is foolish; the answer is
to control the phones. Those naysayers who insist druggies might still
buy drugs using other means are just trying to cause trouble and be
negative.

Of course, it goes without saying that we should have a federal phone
registry. By tracking all legal phones, it will help to solve crime
when criminals use a phone to sell drugs. We're not sure how, but
we're confident it's worth a billion dollars to find out.

People with more than 10 phone lines at their business or home address
are to be subject to searches without a warrant. If their phone
licence expires, they will be expected to sell all phones immediately,
or have them seized. Even if they are not using them.

Then they should restrict all pay phones to only five calls. Program
the change receptacle to take only five quarters. That limits the
number of dealers who can be called, which will make us all safer.

People who use their phones to put food on the table, like
pizza-eating bachelors, might have some sort of excuse to own phones.
However, even then they require only single-call units. Phones with
high capacity batteries are pure evil, and have no place in our society.

I have read those insane reports that suggest private citizens can
reduce crime by calling the police when they see it, but that's just
the phone lobby trying to promote their evil agenda. Everyone knows
that in a civilized society only police and the military should have
phones.

Hey, if it saves just one life . . ..

When will our our government and police forces learn the simple truth
that you don't solve social problems such as crime, drugs and
homelessness by banning inanimate objects and taking them away from
law-abiding citizens?

As a society, we will continue to be plagued by these and other
problems until the powers that-be learn to address the roots of the
problems instead.

Warren Wall

Vancouver