CONFESSIONS OF A RECREATIONAL DRUG USER

Krystal*, a former St. Thomas University student, has been doing drugs
since she was 13 years-old when she discovered 'magic' mushrooms growing on
her neighbours lawns where she lived. Since then, she's tried more than 15
different drugs, including marijuana, acid, ecstasy, codeine, crystal meth,
ephedrine, hash, crack, cocaine, Ritalin and PCP.

Despite trying a variety of drugs, her favourite is still ketamine, or
special K as it is often called. Her first experience with this substance
was when she moved to New Brunswick to attend university.

Ketamine, used in veterinary medicine as a tranquilizer, separates
perception from sensation _ creating an out-of-body experience. Although it
usually comes in liquid form, it often is cooked into a white powder and
then snorted.

"Special K is my favourite drug but a lot of people hate it because it is
so intense. I don't mind intense experiences," she said.

However, she said the experience of having K could be overwhelming to
someone who wasn't expecting it.

Krystal said if ketamine was slipped into someone's drink without their
knowledge, they would feel a "big wave burying them" and they'd probably
panic and wouldn't be able to handle it.

"I'm one of the odd fellows who wouldn't mind having something slipped in
their drink," Krystal laughed while exhaling pot smoke. "I like drugs and I
feel like I can handle the combinations. I exercise the power of my mind.
[and] I'm around enough people that if something like that happens, they'd
be there and I wouldn't have much to worry about."

"I believe that you have the power in your mind to do anything. People can
do amazing things just because their adrenaline is pumping and they have
the determination to do what's necessary. They don't even really think,
they just act. They are able to do great feats because of the power of
their minds. Even if you're high, your mind can overcome that; your mind
can sober itself up."

"No matter what two drugs you're doing, you should be very careful because
it's going to bring different experiences even if you've combined the two
before," she cautioned.

"For example, if you're going to take X (ecstasy) and drink alcohol, [you
have to be aware that] alcohol dehydrates you naturally and ecstasy
dehydrates you too - it raises your body temperature and you get thirsty.
So, what are you going to do? You're going to take another swig of your
beer, [and] that's probably not going to help you very much," Krystal
explained.

However, she said drugs aren't for everybody but they can help deal with
emotional problems. With her experience, she believes drugs have helped her
deal with things counseling couldn't help with.

"I have had some difficult life experiences and people frequently blame my
drug use on that and think that I should get counseling." Krystal
explained, adding that she has seen both a therapist and a psychiatrist on
and off for approximately eight years.

"Because of bonding with my friends and with other people on these drugs, I
was able to talk about it and feel more comfortable [with myself]."

"When I started doing coke with friends, as evil as that drug is, I got
over so many issues just sitting for hours and talking and feeling like it
was okay to talk."

Although she said the drugs have helped her, she warns that some people
can't handle the experiences of altered realities.

"Drugs are not all wonderful. I've seen people very close to me go through
a lot of rough times because they let drugs become too large a part in
their lives. If you are going to get high make sure you get high and the
high doesn't get you."

* name changed to protect identity