EVEN AT AN EARLY AGE, KIDS NEED STRAIGHT DOPE ON DRUGS

Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I am the single mom of a terrific 6-year-old boy. "Matthew"
is smart, happy and generally makes good choices when given options.
My problem? I'm terrified of the future.

I hear horror stories about kids who take drugs and the downward
spiral their lives take. Matthew's father made poor choices regarding
drugs and alcohol -- one of the many reasons I divorced him -- so my
son is genetically predisposed to addiction. What is to stop him from
accepting drugs from friends or acquaintances?

One of my parenting styles has been to let Matthew make choices and
live with the consequences, hoping that the price he pays when he is
young will be a lower one that when he gets older -- as long as he's
not going to hurt himself or others.

If I explain that drugs and alcohol for kids aren't acceptable, in
short, "forbidding it," he may rebel. I know he is only 6, but these
fears keep me up at night.

Is there an established, proven course of action that parents can take
starting at this age to help in the prevention of future horrors? --

SLEEPLESS IN THE HEARTLAND

DEAR SLEEPLESS: Yes, there is. The answer is clear, open communication
and education. Talk consistently with your son about the fact that
experimenting with drugs and alcohol can cause permanent damage to a
young person's developing brain.

When he is a little older, add to that message the fact that it is
especially important for him to avoid these things since he has a
genetic predisposition to alcoholism that runs in the family. He needs
to understand that you are not speaking "generally," but that, where
others might have a margin for error, he does not.

Be sure to allow Matthew to communicate honestly with you without fear
of punishment. If he is a bright child, he will heed the warning and
understand that he can take his concerns to you regardless of the subject.