THE KIDS ARE SMOKING IT ANYWAY; LET'S LEGALIZE IT

Reading week is a great time in any student's academic career. Students
have a whole week dedicated to preventing nuclear meltdowns in the middle
of their semesters, mostly due to tensions caused by the flurry of essays
and midterms we had to pull out of our asses the week prior. But aside from
Reading Week, there exists another, more potent, way to rid yourself of all
that undue stress: marijuana.

In the delirium of midterm week, I couldn't help but notice that there also
seemed to be a bizarre scent permeating the air more frequently in
innocuous places throughout campus.

After about five or so of these incidents, whiffed in passing throughout
this week, I was in full-out disbelief as I bumped into a crowd next to HUB
sharing an innocuously small cigarette; the source of the musty, yet
intriguing smell.

The shock of brain-cell murdering in a time of great brain-cell need aside,
I was somewhat impressed with these bold moments. I agree with marijuana
being legalized, much less decriminalized, but there are a hell of a lot of
people out there who don't. Therefore, I spent my week of freedom not only
discovering how to make fart noises with my eye-socket and downhill skiing,
but thinking of ideas to sway the naysayers into seeing the good side of
marijuana.

First off, the government should tax the hell out of it. Marijuana sales,
at this point, solely benefit the dealers of said product, as they peddle
their wares in every location close to a bored or stressed-out populace. If
legalized, it could be sold alongside cigarettes or alcohol, and like these
two popular transgressions could have a tax that makes people moan and
bitch constantly, yet doesn't prevent them from buying the product.

According to Stats Canada, "Alcohol sales for the country total $14.5
billion, up 6.8 per cent from 2001," not to mention the $3.8 billion extra
made from tobacco sales. This, combined with money made from marijuana
sales, could not only fix regular Liberal financial blunders and patch up
our healthcare and education situations, but it could redirect police
resources.

Our law enforcement agencies would no longer have to spend money chasing
every member of the pot-smoking demographic around the country,
confiscating their little baggies or nailing people for "mysterious resin"
deposits on their smoking accoutrement. They would be free to completely
devote their time to clamping down on actual problems, like cocaine,
methamphetamine, heroin, or CO2 cartridges rammed up anal cavities.
Marijuana is not as addictive as these hard drugs, nor is it justifiably
identifiable as a "gateway drug" for this very reason. In fact, marijuana
has vast benefits to physical health that should thusly be called into
recognition.

I was surprised to learn through the Canadian Medicinal Marijuana
Association that marijuana does so much more than make rooms undulate and
make people hungry all the time. Certain strains of marijuana have proven
to be effective as anti-inflammatories, as well as being terrific for
prevention of vomiting and nausea, and the easing of glaucoma or macular
degeneration. Among others, there are benefits for all the women at least
once a month as herb is proven to take the bloodthirstiness out of those
who are premenstrual. Queen Elizabeth I smoked a little for this very reason.

While I do advocate the many benefits that pot could have on our country, a
part of me is aching to say the old adage that we've all been told
pertaining not only to drugs, but sex, booze, and Tribbles serving as
adorable pets: "Very good in moderation." Nonetheless, it looks like we're
going to have to wait awhile before pot's legalized. In the meantime, I
guess we'll just have to wait it out, cloister in the nooks and crannies of
campus, or rig up clever filtration systems we read about in High Times.