CRYSTAL METH: EVENTUALLY, YOU WILL HARM THE ONES YOU LOVE

Ricky Baxter would be the first to admit he's no saint. But after decades of
drug abuse, he hopes sharing his life experiences can make a difference to
others headed down the path of addiction.

"I started with alcohol and pot," says Baxter, who grew up in Surrey. "I
played really, really hard."

Baxter was already using crack cocaine when he first tried methamphetamine
at 17.

"I thought I was living, but I realize I was only existing," he says.

Methamphetamine, also known as crystal meth or ice, is a powerful stimulant
of the central nervous system. An $8 to $10 dose offers users a high that
can last for 12 hours.

"It gives you energy, an untapped amount of energy," says Baxter, who once
spent 23 consecutive days high on the drug.

The drug is often used as a performance enhancer.

"An average 20-year-old male who never did any before could do some and work
through the night and most of the next day and I really don't think, if he
took proper breaks, that anyone would notice," he says.

Users often cannot sleep, begin to hallucinate, experience sweating and feel
their senses are heightened. Prolonged meth use is believed to trigger
psychosis and cause permanent neurological damage.

For Baxter, who has skin burns from the drug, meth has left him with more
than physical scars.

"You can hurt yourself and the people around you for nothing," he says.

Those looking for reasons for Baxter's addiction might point to his mother's
death when he was 16. Or, his struggles a year later to walk again after a
car crash.

Baxter doesn't have a definitive answer as to why - only that meth was
cheap, available and that he was told he could use it to wean himself off
his crack cocaine habit.

Married more than once and a father of three, Baxter says he's not proud of
his past.

While going through drug-induced rages, Baxter says he would threaten to
kill others and abuse those closest to him.

After moving to the Lower Mainland from Prince George three years ago,
Baxter went to InnerVisions for treatment. On the fifth day, he entered into
an uncontrollable rage - a common symptom of withdrawal - and left the next
day.

"Basically, my goal was to kill myself doing drugs," Baxter says.

But he remembers that while continuing to use drugs himself, he would tell
other addicts to seek treatment. Then one day, Baxter says, someone told him
to take his own advice.

"I had a moment of clarity," Baxter says. "I went and looked in the mirror."

What he saw was a man who did not want his children to know him only as an
addict.

"I knew I was going to try and turn my life around," Baxter says. "I was
thinking about my kids and the things I'd done and if I overdosed they would
have to tell their friends that I was a drug addict - I didn't want to do
that to them."

Now clean for six months, the 41-year-old is training as a support care
worker for the InnerVisions Recovery Society, which runs a residential
treatment program serving the Tri-Cities.

He shares his stories with other men and women struggling with their own
demons of addiction.

Lying on his bedside table and desk are 12-step recovery guides, the Bible
and Alcoholics Anonymous textbooks.

"There is nothing you can do to change the past," says Baxter, who is now
focused on his children and helping others.

Baxter says meth doesn't discriminate between kids who come from middle or
upper class families and those from families with low incomes - the only
difference, he says, is that those with money don't have to steal to get
their next fix.

"Children need to be told that they are loved," Baxter says, adding that
parents can't substitute toys or permissiveness. "Kids need love, and they
need it on a regular basis."

He still has good days and bad days, but says he's satisfied that the
decisions he makes now are sober ones.

"If you continue down the road of using drugs, it's inevitable that you are
going to harm the ones you love."

Methamphetamine is changing a Port Coquitlam-based treatment centre's
approach to those addicted to the drug.

The InnerVisions Recovery Society assists men and women struggling with drug
and alcohol addiction, particularly those from the Tri-Cities.

The society offers integrated, holistic recovery programs that include a
residential treatment option.

In 2003, 183 men and 176 women sought drug and alcohol treatment at
InnerVisions - the average age for men was 27, while the average age for
women was 33. Of those, eight per cent of men and 11 per cent of women were
addicted to methamphetamine.

In comparison, statistics from InnerVisions for 2001 show that four per cent
of individuals were addicted to amphetamines. (Meth was not separated from
that category until 2002.)

Although cocaine was by far the drug of choice for 55 per cent of men and 27
per cent of women, Cory Wint, an InnerVisions director, says those numbers
could soon change to reflect the growing use of methamphetamine.

"Crystal meth is an awful lot like cocaine," Wint says. "Cocaine is very
intense, but it's a short acting drug and very expensive, where crystal meth
gives you a similar high, but it's a longer acting substance and it's
cheaper. Our hunch is that crystal meth is going to start to overtake
cocaine.

"Crystal meth is made in people's basements and the chemicals are really
damaging to neurotransmitters and brain chemistry."

InnerVisions looks at changing program

There's a difference for clients dealing with meth addiction in terms of
their ability to participate in the program, Wint says. Many are suicidal,
find it hard to focus, get depressed and experience a lack of energy.

"Crystal meth is a much different beast we're dealing with here."

Wint says the success rate for meth users is "not very good" and, as a
result, the society is looking to refine its recovery program.

"Our program might not be right for these people," Wint says.

"Traditionally, InnerVisions has been a gathering ground where we've
accepted just about anybody as long as they're willing and want to get clean
- - come on down to InnerVisions. But what we've had to do is look long and
hard at that and some people are just not ready to do an intense program
like ours."

Doctors working with InnerVisions, Wint says, say some meth users may first
need to enter a low-intensity environment for six to nine months where it's
safe to undergo withdrawal.

Then they will be ready for a more intense program.

"We've changed our telephone screening to ask some different questions and
get a little bit more critical, especially around crystal meth," Wint says.