CONTROL PLEASURE FOR PROGRESS

Aggression is never a behavior I display after smoking marijuana or
engaging in pre-marital intercourse.

In fact, on those occasions, I have to avoid pugnacious people in order to
maintain my buzz.

Before discovering the freedoms of sex and psychedelia I was dead set on
following my father's footsteps and joining the military.

Attempting to understand my former inclination toward this occupation and
sudden departure from it has led me to analyze my influences, environment
and psychosexual development since birth.

I am beginning to believe that a faction of our society demonizes sensual
pleasure as a means to manipulate desire and shame, propagating the
military-industrial complex.

First and foremost, genital mutilation (circumcision) is initiation into
the military cult. Your favorite UCI social anthropology professor may
inform you that most warring cultures or dominator societies engage in
mutilating their children's genitals. The United States is one of the few
countries in the world that still continues this abhorrent practice in
public hospitals.

Circumcision is where sex encounters violence for the first time. The
antiseptic administered by the nurse will often give the baby his first
erection. The most highly innervated tissue containing irreplaceable
secretions is removed without anesthesia under the guise of tradition
and/or hygiene. Later in life, foreskins release male pheromones, which
signal to other males their relation. Without the prepuce that produces
molecular messages, men are more anxious and quicker to assert dominance
over one another.

Circumcision is just one element of religious tradition that suppresses
sexual realization.

I attended an all-boy, private Catholic high school that instructed
students to remain abstinent until marriage. Masturbation was never
mentioned in lecture. They also taught that the body was a "temple for God"
and therefore all drugs were evil except for the legal ones. On graduation
day I noticed that all of the boys enlisting or heading off to a military
academy were clean and sober virgins (with poor tastes in music).

Coincidence?

No more a coincidence than a governmental "indecency" crackdown coinciding
preemptive war activities.

The Pentagon recently stated that pictures of returning coffins are
offensive to the families of dead soldiers.

Are coffins more or less offensive than Janet Jackson's breast? The
authorities must define morality in their own terms as a means to avoid
criticism for their own immoral actions and leadership.

Be sure to flush out your system before applying for that federal position
after graduation. Uncle Sam has revamped drug testing and will be invading
your privacy frequently to ensure that you are not too relaxed. They must
still think stoners support terrorists.

Interestingly, the radical Islamic terrorists and the Bush administration
actually agree on something: banning gay marriage. Apparently these guys
never discovered their G-spot (the prostate gland, located two to three
inches above the rectum, surrounding the bladder) and believe me ... it
feels good.

The U.S. president has stated that he wishes to protect the sanctity of
marriage, therefore implying the immorality of homosexuality. He must mean
protecting the sanctity of an economic institution.

After all, marriage was invented solely for the purpose of property
exchange, women being the property.

The idea of romantic love between a man and a woman forming the basis of
marriage did not come about until the Middle Ages. Moral opponents of
homosexuality argue that it is not natural. Are blow-jobs natural? That's
funny, blow-jobs are illegal in many states.

Speaking of heads bobbing, music (aural pleasure) is by far the most
underrated form of communication in America and maybe the most regulated.
Anyone who thinks that the public airwaves still belong to the public
probably believes that only the most deserving artists receive Grammys.

Repetition of music and familiarity encourages routine; the listener
becomes the instrument of "progress."

Kevin Collins is a fifth-year English major.