LIMBAUGH IN NEED OF BALANCE

Rush Limbaugh is a slow learner. - That might explain why he looked at
the sadistic photos from the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq and likened
them to some college fraternity high jinks.

Boolah, mullah! Boolah, mullah!

Most reasonable people expressed disgust by the sight of the bound,
nude, hooded men in American custody being forced to degrade
themselves sexually.

And Limbaugh surely would have, too, if it had been under the previous
administration.

But Limbaugh's a referee without a whistle these days. So here's how
he excused the inexcusable:

"This is no different than what happens at the Skull and Bones
initiation, and we're going to ruin people's lives over it, and we're
going to hamper our military effort, and then we are going to really
hammer them because they had a good time,'' he said on his radio show.

Limbaugh added: "I'm talking about people having a good time. These
people, you ever heard of emotional release? You heard of need to blow
some steam off?''

I knew he was an apologist. But I just figured that in light of his
newfound expertise in the realm of investigatory zeal run amok --
something he claims to have learned the hard way in Palm Beach County
- -- he might have temporarily burst through the wall of his
professional limitations.

But, like I said, Limbaugh is apparently a slow learner.

And yet, there's hope.

There used to be a time when he thought that the problem with drugs
was that we weren't locking up the people who got caught. This was
during the days when he thought the American Civil Liberties Union was
a flaky impediment to justice and criminal defense lawyers were an
evil bunch of liberal simps who were out to subvert the truth by
freeing the guilty on procedural maneuvers.

He has been educated through experience in that regard.

Ever since the Palm Beach County State Attorney's Office declined to
respectfully turn a blind eye to Limbaugh's years of prescription drug
abuse, he has become a champion of the drug addict caught in the cross
hairs of justice. He talks of the pain of addiction, the need for
treatment and the unfairness of prosecutors pursuing people with a
personal problem.

If you go to Limbaugh's Web site these days, it's full of tales of
horrific miscarriages of justice and calls to end investigatory
techniques that we, as Americans, shouldn't stand for.

There are warnings about the "threat to the rule of law.'' Harassment
we can't condone. And a horrible "fishing expedition'' for information
that should chill us to the core.

No, none of that is about the sadistic abuse at the Abu Ghraib
prison.

It's all about Palm Beach County State Attorney Barry Krischer's
having the nerve to document Limbaugh's drug abuse through the use of
his medical records.

Oh, the horror!

>From Limbaugh's bellowing, you'd think Krischer was breaking chemical
lights and pouring the scorching phosphoric liquid over the naked
talk-show host's . . . oh, never mind.

Besides, that's just "people having a good time.''

All those naked Iraqis must be guilty of something, right? There can't
be any innocent civilians rounded up by overzealous authorities. That
never happens.

And as for the guilty -- well, the rights of people behind bars is
just a left-wing abstraction.

For now. The slow learner better hope this isn't the next awakening in
his education.