DRUG ABUSE: SIGNS PARENTS SHOULD LOOK OUT FOR

Be alert not suspicious. This is the classic advice for parents and other
adults regarding drug abuse. It goes without saying that a warm, confident
rapport between parents and children is important, but this is not enough.

One agonised Maltese parent told me: "Before drugs reached our family I
thought that parents' not noticing their child's abuse was because
something in the family was lacking - bad relations, indifference and the
absence of love. Looking back, I have to admit that my son showed many
signs of abuse. But I saw them as signs of adolescence and liberation,
signs that my son was seeking an identity and ideas of his own. He did - in
the world of drugs".

Teenagers' first experiments with drugs usually take place when they feel
they are avoiding control by adults. But if your child appreciates the
positive effects of dope, an active period, similar to a love story, may start.

Then you can notice the early signs of abuse. In most cases, the
youngster's experiments with drugs have been going on for longer than you
think or your child will admit. You can never trust a child who says it was
the first time or the last time.

If we notice our teenagers' use of drugs at an early age, we can save them
from abuse. We can also break off the spreading of drugs between young people.

The first stage of drug abuse is easy to conceal. We parents think that by
denying our child is in danger we actually help him. The reason for this
denial is our will to trust our teenage children along with the fear and
feeling of guilt and shame that appears with the suspicion of abuse.

Parents often get so frightened that their denial is a proper psychological
protection. Most of us want "proof" before acting. But in most cases
parents never see the narcotics or their child under their influence. If
you ask some teenagers whether they or their friends use or have tried
drugs the great majority of them answer No. They don't want to "betray"
their friends. They stand up for the drug - the new toy or even the new love.

Can you see the following signs in your child? If so, beware:

Often borrowing money; things keep disappearing from your home; they are
"never" at home; there are new friends you don't know; they cannot be
reached - confidential chats no longer exist.

They have contempt for old friends, interests, family and school. They are
inert and downhearted. The white of their eye gets reddish and they often
sniffle. They are often thirsty or hungry for sweets. They sleep badly,
have nightmares and play truant from school or work.

The worst thing you can do is to do nothing at all. At an early stage drug
abuse is not too hard to cope with. But if you wait, the problems will grow
into crises and conflicts. Be open-hearted and frank with the youngsters;
trust in your determination to intervene if necessary.

Share your problems with Caritas or Sedqa - your collaboration with people
who can help is crucial. Rely on your intuition, love and common sense.
Dare being open and uncomfortable with your child. Drugs are never a part
of a natural development, only a part of the development into an addict.

Ms Valerie Borg,

Valletta councillor, Valletta.