PORTUGAL'S REEFER MADNESS

Any doubts that Europe takes its sports far more seriously than the United
States went up in smoke last week.

To discourage rowdy British hooligans from rioting during the Euro
2004 soccer tournament held in Lisbon, Portuguese police announced
beforehand that they wouldn't arrest or detain visiting Brits who were
spotted smoking marijuana because the drug decreases violent urges,
according to British newspaper The Guardian.

In other words, they're actually giving England supporters the OK to
get stoned in the stands.

The country's lackadaisical drug laws criminalize cannabis consumption
but technically, possession of a few ounces or so is legal in
Portugal. Lisbon police said they will refocus their efforts on trying
to curb alcohol consumption, which is often a main cause of postgame
riots.

Though it's an immense tactical blunder on the police's part to
advertise its selective enforcement of a national law, their desire to
put public safety ahead of nabbing a few harmless tokers is admirable,
considering the many deaths that have resulted from raucous soccer
fans on the rampage.

Here in the States, law enforcement officials wouldn't let an ounce of
pot go unpunished even if it was Super Bowl Sunday and the Cincinnati
Bengals were up by three touchdowns.

Of course, the athletes are pumped full of all manner of performance
enhancing drugs, some legal, some illegal and some so new the Food and
Drug Administration hasn't had time to ban them yet.

The Guardian quoted a police spokeswoman as saying "If you are quietly
smoking and a police officer is 10 metres away, what's the big risk in
your behaviour? I'm not going to tap you on the shoulder and ask 'What
are you smoking?' if you are posing no menace to others. Our priority
is alcohol."

This could drastically change European controlled substance laws,
which are already far more lenient than American zero-tolerance
policies that call for an all-out war on drugs.

When Lisbon police place a temporary moratorium on marijuana arrests
because the wild weed actually reduces violence, not incites it,
lawmaking bodies around the world are going to have a much harder time
justifying their inflexible intolerance for even the smallest amounts
of pot.

American sports would be dramatically different if cannabis was
allowed and even welcomed in the nation's hallowed stadiums and
ballparks. You'd see far fewer fights and perhaps a slight upswing in
cases of the mid-game munchies from the fans, and just imagine the
far-reaching effects it would have on the players.

A joint or two could transform the NBA into more of an exhibition
league where all 30 teams emulated the Harlem Globetrotters. You'd see
a lot less shooting and a lot more dribbling, but fouls would be held
to a minimum.

Hockey players would benefit the most from a healthy dose of reefer.
With a lessened desire to shove opposing skaters into the wall and
pummel them with hockey sticks while the referees pet their seeing-eye
dogs, we might start seeing average scores rise above two or three
points per game.

The crowds at NASCAR races would behave pretty much the same as they
do now.

And I must say, having Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong of stoner-flick
fame in the press box calling games with Frank Gifford would certainly
be entertaining.

But the addition of yet another chemical diversion would ultimately
serve only to further weaken the integrity of pro sports, which has
already been rocked by countless scandals in the past decade alone.

In the end, respect for the game and a love of its players should draw
fans to the stadium -- not bongs and buckets of beer.