BONG HITS FOR ENGLAND

Portugal was a little uneasy hosting the European Championship soccer
match between England and France this year, but not because of
terrorist threats. Instead, rowdy English soccer fans-infamous for
rioting-put fear into the hearts of Lisbon's police force. Lisbon's
response? Smoke them out.

Police let fans know before the game that no arrests would be made, no
warnings would be issued if fans were found smoking pot. Cops even
promised not to confiscate the ganja. The policy was pretty much smoke
'em if you've got 'em. On the other hand, police swore to lock up
every drunk they could find.

Authorities speculated that more pot and less alcohol would lead to
fewer instances of violence. Whether or not the plan was successful is
a matter of perspective.

After France upset England and won the game, a segment of English fans
did get rowdy-those fans who sought to ease the pain of their loss at
the local pubs. Out of the approximately 50,000 French and English
fans who merged in Lisbon to support their mates, only about 400 of
them, mostly English, fought with police after the game-kind of a
small miracle. Dejected drunks threw pint glasses, empty bottles and
bar stools at police, who countered with dogs and the riot team.

Perhaps the Portuguese police didn't go quite far enough. Next time
they could try enforcing a "must get stoned" policy to get the English
fans to relax a little. They could pump the smoke of burning marijuana
into the stadium and let it waft through the happily sedated crowd. As
long as the popcorn, peanuts and hotdogs flow just as freely,
everything will be mellow, man.

The fans could stand to take some initiative, as well. You can't be
expecting the authorities to twist up the spliffs for you.