RIGHT DECISIONS MAY NOT BE EASY

As a recovering addict, I often have to check my motives when I'm
trying to figure out the solution to a problem.

The goal for me is to do the next right thing, whatever that may be.
But the right thing isn't always the easiest thing.

My sponsor has drilled it into my head that working a spiritual
12-step program involves making hard decisions that we don't like to
make. Because of my various issues and character defects, I can let
myself get caught up in guilt, wanting to please everyone and wanting
to avoid anger and hostility.

Because of that, my first instinct, when faced with a crisis or a
problem, is to take the easier, softer route to a solution. But like I
said, that easier, softer way isn't always the right decision.
Sometimes, doing the next right thing involves hurting others and
shouldering the negative reactions and opinions of others.

In my active addiction, wanting to pursue the easier, softer way kept
me using for far longer than I had to. Occasionally, it was downright
dangerous .. like the time I flirted with the idea of enrolling in a
methadone treatment program to get off the heroin and Oxycontin I
couldn't stop using.

As a government-subsidized drug treatment plan, methadone can open the
door to all sorts of nightmarish scenarios. Last summer, a guy in the
program that I sponsored overdosed and died after taking a methadone
wafer. Others sign up for methadone with no consideration for how long
they'll be on it. Some methadone patients have been taking the drug
for years, getting up early in the mornings, standing in line at the
Knoxville clinic and waiting for it like a Catholic awaiting communion
from the pope.

Caught up in the grips of opiate addiction, methadone can seem like an
attractive option -- the supply will always be there, meaning
withdrawal will occur only if an addict forgets to go to the clinic
(an extremely unlikely scenario) or can't physically get there.

But methadone doesn't cure opiate addiction. In essence, it's the
substitution of one drug for another. Methadone was created in Germany
during World War II as a less addictive substitute for morphine. It
later gained prominence as a way to combat addictions to prescription
medications such as dilaudid, Oxycontin and morphine as well as street
drugs such as heroin, and because methadone is a long-acting opiate
replacement, it allows doctors to control the withdrawal process.

Dispensed safely, methadone is supposed to curb the ill effects of
withdrawal and block the cravings that opiate addicts endure.
Unfortunately, it's not uncommon to see methadone patients selling
their "take-home doses" (the ones supposed to supply them through
the weekend) a few blocks away from the clinic, using the money to buy
the drugs they do want.

Although methadone maintains the body's opiate levels and prevents
withdrawal, it doesn't begin to touch the issues that drive opiate
addicts to use drugs in the first place. And because it can be years
before doctors consider reducing a patient's methadone dosage, many
addicts live their lives in a methadone haze, feeling normal and never
addressing those issues.

For addicts who seek an escape from the hell that is addiction, a hard
choice often has to be made. For opiate addicts, that choice comes
down to the easier, softer way -- methadone -- or the hard way, which
can involve detox in a treatment facility and examining the internal
issues behind the addiction, usually within the support of a 12-step
program.

That's the hard way ... but it's also the right way. Methadone is just
another drug. The only difference is that it's dealt by the
government.