A METH MESS: DRUG DEALER, USER CHRONICLES THE LONG, HARD ROAD TO RECOVERY

The first step into Wayne Gerard's spiraling decline into the world of
dealing methamphetamines occurred when he lost his job at an area plant
shortly after his daughter was born.

The baby was screaming for food, bill collectors demanding their money kept
the phone ringing constantly, rent was due in just a week, and Gerard said
he had no clue how he would make ends meet.

"My girlfriend was working at a fast-food joint," said Gerard, a Port
Neches resident. "We needed money for the baby."

Lure of big money

The former PN-G student said he was waiting to speak to a manager at an
area Burger King about getting a job when he ran into old classmate of his
in the lobby of the fast-food restaurant.

"The guy was shocked to see me sitting there filling out a job
application," Gerard said. "When I told him about the baby and how I needed
money, he asked me to step outside to talk to him."

Gerard's friend brought him to a huge new SUV with shiny rims, a pearly
paint job, a booming stereo system and all sorts of other bells and
whistles. His former classmate seemed to have hit the mother lode of success.

"The car was clean, man, and the guy had diamonds in his ears and a diamond
necklace," Gerard said. "This was a guy who barely passed any of his
classes when he was in school. I knew something was up."

The former classmate had a deal to offer the struggling father. He handed
Gerard a bag of white powder and asked if his former classmate could get
rid of the substance for him.

"It was meth and I knew it. He told me he would give it to me for free for
now and I could keep 75 percent of the profit if I just got rid of it for
him," Gerard said. "I didn't know what to do. All sorts of thoughts began
going through my mind."

Gerard said he had been looking for a job for a few months but to no avail.
He knew he could sell the meth to guys around his neighborhood quickly. And
after it was all gone, he could go back to looking for a legal job.

If he did sell the meth, Gerard said, it would just be for one time and one
time only.

"I wasn't the drug-dealing type. I'd never even done drugs before, man," he
said. "I was in the choir in high school and I was into reading books and
stuff like that."

The offer his classmate laid on the table was too good to pass up in
Gerard's eyes, and it was a quick way to feed his daughter, pay his rent
and take care of a couple of utility bills.

"I took him up on that offer and made about $500 in about two hours," he
said. "I didn't make that much in a week at my other job at the plant."

Fast-life addiction

Instead of it becoming a one-time stint as Gerard planned, he found himself
falling into the trap of making quick money in the streets.

"I could go to a fast-food place, slave all day and all night, make minimum
wage and still not have enough money to take care of my family," he said.
"Or I had the option of hitting the streets for a few hours and ending up
with almost a thousand dollars."

Gerard began making a name for himself throughout Port Neches, he said, and
in rural areas of Southeast Texas.

"From Nome to China and Liberty and Raywood and all those areas, I started
building up a customer base," he said.

The money started rolling in for Gerard and he soon had enough money to pay
for day-care for his daughter, buy himself a used car and pay his rent a
few weeks ahead of time.

He had a connection in a meth lab who would sell him the finished product
for a good deal, Gerard said. As money became easier and easier to attain,
he said he became more confident in his trade, selling drugs to anyone who
requested them.

One evening, Gerard said he had plans to meet with a guy who said he needed
a lot of meth quick. The guy seemed a little odd to Gerard, but he agreed
to drop the drugs off to a notorious drug house in Beaumont.

"I'd gotten the money in exchange for the meth," Gerard said. "I was about
to pull off in my car when everything went down."

A downfall begins

As Gerard began to pull off in his car, a swarm of cars and trucks
surrounded his vehicle. Flashing red and blue lights lit up the night, and
Gerard realized he had fallen prey to an undercover drug operation.

"That was the first and last time I went to jail," he said.

Though it was his first offense, Gerard was sentenced to jail time, and
during his 3-year stint in prison he received the biggest emotional blow of
his life.

"My mother died from cancer," he said. "I wasn't even around to visit her
in the hospital. I was doing time for selling drugs when my mother was dying."

It was then, Gerard said, that he realized he had to get his life straight.
He planned on getting his life together, getting a job and taking care of
his daughter, who was now almost 4.

Two months after being released from jail, Gerard said he began to grow
tired of being turned down when putting in numerous job applications and
going on countless interviews.

"No one wanted to hire a drug dealer," he said. "People say you can get a
job but I really couldn't. I tried for months and no one wanted to hire me.
Not even McDonald's."

Gerard went back to the street game he knew - selling drugs. Before long,
the father of one said his girlfriend began speaking out against his "career."

"She made me feel horrible about selling it and would always bring up my
mother and how my mother would be so disappointed," he said. "I needed
something to ease that pain and that stress."

The meth dealer then began using his own product to ease some of the stress
and the depression he said was swallowing his life.

"I had the stuff and it was mine, so I just went ahead and snorted it
sometimes," he said. "Once I started, I understood why people would want to
buy it from me. It takes your mind away from whatever your troubles may be."

Pretty soon, Gerard said he had nothing to sell because he was using his
product himself. After about two months of regular use of the drug,
Gerard's girlfriend had to intervene.

Turning around

"She didn't want me around our daughter and I can't blame her. I just broke
down," he said. "She brought me to a rehabilitation center in Houston where
she knew someone."

Gerard spent about six months in the center. When it was time for him to
head back into the world, the Port Neches native said the clinic helped him
find a job.

For young fathers or anyone else easing their way into the world of drugs,
Gerard advises steering clear of what appears to be the benefits of drug
dealing.

"Whether someone is thinking about using or selling, either way it becomes
an addiction that is harder than anyone can imagine to get out of," he
said. "It's a trap and the only way out is death or prison."

Now working as a custodian for a Houston janitorial firm, Gerard said he
sees his daughter every week and is even putting aside money from his
paychecks to start a trust fund for the 6-year-old.

"I'm not making nearly as much money as I used to," he said. "But the fact
that I can be proud of the way I make my money makes up for it. I know my
daughter can be proud and I know my mother is proud of me, too."

(Editor's note: This is the final story of a two-part series plumbing the
problems posed by methamphetamines.)