HOME GROW OPERATION OR NEIGHBOURHOOD BACHELOR?

If you live in Orangeville you received a brochure in a recent hydro bill
which provided an impressive amount of information about marijuana home grow
operations and how to spot one. While I wouldn't want to make light of an
obviously serious situation, I couldn't help but notice the similarities in
what you would look for in your average home grow operation and what you can
expect in your average bachelor pad.

The first clue that you have a home grow operation in your neighbourhood is
"Residents attend the home occasionally for short periods of time." This
could be me. I'm up early and gone to work for the day, home for a shower
and a quick bite to eat before leaving for whatever the evening's activities
might be, returning much later -- usually long after dark -- to repeat the
cycle again.

Clue number three is "The exterior appearance of the house is untidy." When
one is running a busy schedule as noted above cutting the grass is generally
not priority one. Generally, I cut it just before I think the neighbours are
about to call bylaw enforcement. In years where the price of hay is up, I
have someone come in and bail it and then sell it to my farmer friends. I
also have some pretty severe grass allergies which means wearing one of
those neat white masks and looking like a freak while I cut the lawn, or not
wearing one and suffering for a day or two after.

Clue number four is "Entry is often made into the home through the garage to
conceal activities." In my case going in through the garage is just a
convenient way of hanging up whatever sports equipment might be in season. I
am also a bit of a suck when it comes to cold weather and would rather park
in the garage than scrape the windows. In fact, a couple of winters ago I
made it through the entire winter without buying a scraper.

If you suspect a home grow operation in your neighbourhood you should also
watch for "windows that are covered to prevent light from entering the home
and to conceal activities." My house faces west and it really heats up in
the afternoon so I generally leave my blinds down all of the time. Maybe I'm
also just a little lazy, so if I'm just going to have to pull them down
again, why put them up at all?

The final clue that you might have a home grow operation in your area is
that, "growing marijuana produces a strong skunk-like odour..." Anyone who
has lived on Amanda Street for a while knows that a couple of springs ago
that strong skunk like odour was in fact skunks.

So if you think you have a home grow operation in your area, be vigilant and
call police. Even if you make a mistake and cause some grief for a bachelor
on your street, it will certainly give them a story to tell their friends!