VACCINATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION

Since the War on Drugs has failed so miserably, the government is
considering a new approach: a vaccine against drugs.

The shot works by blocking receptors in the brain responsible for the rush
drug users yearn for. The vaccinated simply cannot get the same amount of
pleasure from heroine, cocaine or nicotine as they normally would, so the
hope is that the number of drug addicts will plummet.

Or, people will start taking these drugs in ever-increasing doses,
desperate to get high even if it kills them. This new policy obviously has
kinks in it.

To make things scarier, the government's plan is not to head into
addiction/recovery centers with these latest mind-controlling substances,
but instead to go into the school system and experiment on "at-risk" youth.

This is not a late-night sci-fi flick, folks. The program is to operate
incognito alongside other routine childhood vaccinations like mumps and
rubella and will be up and running in the United Kingdom as early as 2006
(bankrolled, of course, by the U.S.).

Human-rights advocates responded to the news with alarm, calling it
unethical to use pharmaceuticals to enforce government policy. This is your
brain on approved drugs that inhibit the uptake of other, non-approved
drugs. Any questions?