'PARENTS EMPOWERING PARENTS' ADDRESSING LOCAL DRUG AND ALCOHOL CONCERNS

The basement room in County Hall was packed, set up with chairs and round
tables holding water, cookies, and information about addictions.

Attendees slowly drifted in until there were people standing in the back of
the room, eyes focused on 'Renee,' who was sharing about how she got off drugs.

This was the July 27 meeting of Parents Empowering Parents (PEP), a new
group set up in Sherwood Park to deal with families and friends of drug and
alcohol addicts.

Maralyn Benay, of McMan Youth & Family Services, has been involved with PEP
from its recent inception. She was on hand Tuesday to speak to parents and
answer questions.

"Our purpose is to fill your needs and help you cope with the crisis going
on in your life," said Benay, addressing the crowded room.

She added the meeting was not only dealing with crystal meth, which many
parents were there to discuss, but with addicts of any drug, or alcohol.

Local probation officer Tina Dow was also there, passing out questionnaires
and listening to parents who came from Sherwood Park, Edmonton, and Beaumont.

There were some parents in the room who had been dealing with their adult
children's addictions for years. Others were in the process of trying to
locate their teenage daughter, who is addicted to drugs and currently
missing. Still others were there with success stories.

Not everyone came with an imminent personal problem.

"We're pretty sure our kids aren't doing it," said one mother. "But we want
to find out more about it and be aware."

While speaking, Benay emphasized the universal nature of their struggle and
urged parents not to feel ashamed.

"Don't be surprised if you were to share this to the person beside you in
the pew on Sunday and they could relate," she said. "If you can't get over
the guilt, you won't be able to help your child."

One issue that seemed to touch a chord with many parents was what is termed
"enabling," when parents continue to provide their addicted child with a
place to stay, food, and sometimes money, despite the child's continued
abuse of their generosity.

"Don't call it enabling," said Benay firmly. "From now on I want you to
call it sabotaging. Ask yourself 'am I sabotaging my child from getting well?'"

Later in the evening, parents broke into separate groups for discussion.

"I know I'm not alone, but I don't know what to do anymore," said one
frustrated parent dealing with a meth-addicted daughter.

"I'm literally scared to death -- I'm going to lose my daughter," said a
mother with tears in her eyes. Others around the table suggested programs
or strategies that might be helpful.

Dow said the group got its start when parents continued to approach her
asking for a place to go for help.

She noted attendance has climbed, going up from about 30 up to 52 in four
meetings, with some gone on holidays.

Audrey Bjornstad is a concerned parent involved with PEP, and wants to see
the group bring about change.

"We don't want to just be a support for each other," said Bjornstad, who
got involved with lobbying the government when her son ran into some
problems with drugs.

"We want to be an action group."

Bjornstad said she has been receiving calls from all over the province
seeking help.

"I've been absolutely inundated with phone calls from all over the province
- -- Red Deer, Lloydminster -- small communities that parents are dealing
with exactly the same issues that don't know where to turn." She noted
there will be people coming from Lloydminster, Red Deer, and the St. Paul
area to sit in on one of the meetings.

"Parents are in tears and frustrated because there's nowhere to put kids
under 18 for residential treatment."

Bjornstad noted there are some local treatment facilities, but costs run up
in the thousands of dollars a month.

"We know that we haven't even scratched the surface," said Bjornstad
candidly. "The kids are telling us that 60 per cent of kids going through
high school here are experimenting with hard drugs."

PEP will be having its next meeting Tuesday, Sep. 10. They will also be
sponsoring an evening seminar Sep. 21 with guest speakers Michelle Boden
from 630 CHED and Sgt. Ian Sanderson of the RCMP to talk about keeping kids
clean. Tickets are $10 and funds will go towards youth drug treatment
initiatives.

There is another support group in Sherwood Park called Tough Love, which
meets Wednesday nights at 6:45 at the United Church on Fir Street. Tough
Love deals with a wide variety of behavioural issues, from running away to
violence to attitude problems.

For more information on Tough Love, leave a message at 464-5597. For more
information on PEP, call Maralyn at 417-9760 ext. 228.