ASK RICKY: DRUG TESTING IN NFL ISN'T FOOLPROOF

Remember the TV ad that began with a shot of two eggs?

"This is your brain," the voiceover said.

The griddle heated up, and the eggs began to fry.

"This is your brain on drugs."

Ricky Williams apparently didn't catch that commercial growing up. Whether
he's a free spirit, a doper or a Dolphins traitor has been hotly debated
for a week. One thing Williams unquestionably did was give the NFL a case
of reefer madness.

The league is disputing Williams' suggestion that passing a marijuana test
is easier than beating the Dolphins in December. It's hard to know the
truth because anybody who beats the test isn't going to admit it.

Well, anybody except Williams. He said he repeatedly fooled the NFL's
beaker patrol, and said such expertise is widespread around the league. Not
that it takes a chemical genius to beat a drug test.

Apparently, all it takes is $29.95. That's the price of one of the more
popular masking potions, roughly 381,931 of which are available on the
Internet.

"Millions of satisfied customers," one ad says.

It does not state how many of them earn a living in the NFL. But you know
what they say. Where there's smoke, there's smoke.

"I have no idea. I'm not that kind of guy," Bucs cornerback Ronde Barber
said. "But I wouldn't doubt that it happens."

Whether that's good or bad -- whether you think pot should be legalized or
officially declared The Evil Weed -- is beside the point. The NFL says
marijuana is off-limits, so that makes it a company policy every employee
must obey.

Or they fire up the bong and party across Europe with Lenny Kravitz, which
Williams did this summer. Maybe it was the second-hand smoke in Amsterdam,
but somewhere along the way Williams got enough cannabis in his system to
flunk a drug test.

That made three, if you're counting at home with Dave Wannstedt. A third
violation meant Williams would have been suspended for four games this
season. It also meant he'd failed twice before, which leads you to believe
the NFL's drug-testing system was doing its job.

Problem is, after the first failed test players are subjected to up to 10
random tests per month. Williams said he flunked his first test more than
two years ago. That means a whole lot of samples came back clean that
probably weren't.

Maybe that's why manufacturers like Detoxify offer a double-your-money-back
guarantee on products. Too bad the Dolphins didn't get the same deal with
Williams.

The NFL says downing masking agents and a quart of water doesn't work. It
obviously does not care for the notion that its elaborate testing policy
could be beaten by something called UrineLuck.

But who are you going to believe? The NFL, or millions of satisfied
customers and one satisfied ex-customer?

Williams said the only reason he flunked the last test was because he
didn't down his masking potion. He is just a one-man test case, of course.
But if his experience is at all indicative of reality, Bobby Brown could be
a starting quarterback in the league.

"You can't put us all in the same category," Bucs lineman Derrick Deese said.

No doubt, Williams was probably in a category by himself. It's hard to
believe there are a lot of potheads in the NFL, though who can say how many
players take an occasional toke? All Ricky's revelation did was make one
thing clear.

When a marijuana smoker wants to beat a test, it can be done. And if the
NFL thinks otherwise, its brain must be on drugs.