MARIJUANA LOBBYISTS? THEY'RE SMOKIN' THE COMPETITION!

So, listen, Barry Bonds: We've got, like, a completely new way of
thinking about this whole debate on controlled substances in
athletics that will totally blow your mind.

The new team in first place in the Congressional Softball League?
None other than Washington's marijuana lobbyists. Dude!

The One Hitters -- a team sponsored by Students for Sensible Drug
Policy, the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws
and related advocacy groups -- had by last week amassed a 13-3 record
and vaulted to the top of the league, which includes teams from the
RNC, DNC, Justice, Customs and Border Protection Service and the
Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America.

"This effectively shatters the notion that drug policy reformers are
just a bunch of lazy 'stoners,' " SSDP's Tom Angell wrote to us.

This stereotype has plagued the team since it joined the league four
years ago. "We've definitely heard some snickers. Teams come in
thinking we're going to be pushovers," said executive director and
team captain/starting pitcher Kris Krane. "We have a chip on our
shoulder about it."

Two years ago, the team fielded by the White House's Office of
National Drug Control Policy refused to play the One Hitters -- first
pleading scheduling problems but later copping to ideological
concerns. Krane is still steamed: "We're contributing members of
society. We're policy people who genuinely care about the impact the
war on drugs is having on our nation, and we're trying to dispel some
of the stereotypes."

So: What's up with the name? Krane admitted that "it's sort of a
double-entendre," alluding to small marijuana pipes. "We really
didn't want to do anything to reinforce the stoner stereotype --
because we're not a bunch of stoners, we're policy wonks. But we
decided to have some fun."

And when they celebrate after the game? "The only substances you'll
find on our team is beer," Krane said.