BREAKING THE SLACKER-STONER IMAGE

Today, despite the fact that pot is still mostly illegal, it is true that,
except for in some extremely conservative anal-retentive segments of the
population, pot smoking is accepted as a lifestyle choice. The sad part is
that stereotypes and negative images of pot-smokers as much as 30 years old
persist among the general population. The common untruth that pot-smokers
are lazy, trouble-making underachievers perpetuates itself through the
media and filters into the general public's psyche on a daily basis. That
is why I present to you the "Healthy Stoner," a Waterloo honours
student/athlete/TA who also happens to smoke up seven to eight times a day.
The Healthy Stoner is just one of many habitual pot-smokers who represent a
counter-stereotype to the common image of cannabis connoisseurs. He is a
man who knows how to use the drug like a Prof. knows how to drink Starbucks
coffee. I sat down with The Healthy Stoner to discuss his revealing
insights into his usage of the drug, his hints not to fall into the lazy
stoner slump and his love of green tea.

Imprint: Rumour has it that you smoke weed seven to eight times a day yet
you are still fully capable of functioning in the outside world. How do you
accomplish this amazing feat?

Healthy Stoner: If you're just getting stoned for the sake of getting
stoned, you're just going to end up sitting on the couch and doing nothing.
The trick is realizing what you'd like to do before you get stoned and
doing it.

How do you fight the urge to pass out when you're stoned? I know that's
sometimes the most appealing benefit about getting high, however sometimes
it can just be counter-productive.

Well, the first thing you have to withhold from is the urge to just start
mowing down on food. If you get stuffed from ding-dongs and whatnot your
metabolism is going to slow down and you're going to want to pass out. The
trick is to eat a fairly large meal about a half hour beforehand and then
get high. That way your metabolism won't slow down enough to put you to sleep.

Rumour also has it you are also a connoisseur of tea, namely drinking tea
while high. What therapeutic or health benefits do you get from this?

Many people think that tea, like coffee has a diuretic effect that
contributes to dehydration. The hydrating effect of tea is twice as much as
the diuretic effect, so it actually has a hydrating effect which is good
for combating pasties.

I've heard that you play on not one, but two intramural A division teams,
and you do this while you're stoned. That's practically unfathomable for
most chronic smokers. How do you manage to do this?

If you get past the stereotype that it is hard to do things when you are
high, you can accomplish pretty much anything that you can do when you're
sober. Just last week I went for a four-hour mountain bike ride from
Waterloo all the way up to Chicopee while I was completely stoned. It was
exquisite to say the least.

Do you ever get sketched out on the ice?

No, you're usually so into the game that it's impossible to get sketched. I
encourage everyone to try playing sports while baked -- it's intense.

Having broken the stoner stereotype yourself, do you find that other
stoners often fall prey to the anti-social stereotype?

I think that a lot of people that smoke weed get excluded [from] shit that
is cool, just because they feel that they are not welcome or that the two
don't go together. In certain circles it's looked down upon to smoke a
joint or be stoned, so those people disassociate themselves [from] certain
recreational activities by either rationalizing them as not cool or playing
their video game equivalents rather then getting out there and actively
taking part.

Why do you think that marijuana has been portrayed as having a dampening
effect on people's behaviours both by those that use negative stereotypes
and smokers who perpetuate these beliefs themselves?

Yeah, it's easy to burn out. And by burning out I don't mean the
after-affect of smoking once, I mean when all you do is smoke and vegetate
and you don't keep active. Eventually the stereotype perpetuates itself,
the key is to stay active.

Healthy Stoner, it has truly been a delight to interview you and I hope you
continue to smoke and to break down borders. The world needs soldiers such
as you to break down pre-conceived notions about potsmokers that are
subliminally pumped into our brains by the media.

Hopefully this article will motivate all the burnouts out there to grab
life by the roach clip and smoke it rather then just staring aimlessly at
some movie that they've already seen nine times.