IT'S NOT NICE TO CHEAT ON A URINE TEST

Two men were sanctioned in federal court Thursday after using - well - an
"artificial device" to deliver clean urine for unrelated drug tests.
Pressed for a wholesome description, a federal official in the Kansas City
court described the device as "an artificial device with a bladder used to
circumvent a urine test."

According to a Web site selling the device, it's "designed to be
comfortably worn as an undergarment for extended periods of time!"
Methamphetamine conspirator David L. Quigg of Belton missed a chance for a
lesser sentence after U.S. District Judge Ortrie Smith learned that Quigg
had used the device for a urine test. Smith sentenced Quigg, 35, to seven
years and nine months in federal prison.

A little later, another judge revoked the probation of 30-year-old David
Threlkeld of Kansas City after he was discovered using the device in his
drug test. Threlkeld was on supervised release for conspiracy to distribute
cocaine. He had served about six months on that conviction. Thursday's
actions belied a feature advertised on the product's Web site: that it's
foolproof.