ODDBALL REFUGEES, CURIOUS CLAIMANTS

Recent immigration figures indicate a tsunami of refugee claimants may be
heading for Canada's borders, further swamping a system already drowning in
bogus asylum-seekers.

Immigration figures show that in the first three months of this year, the
number of foreigners seeking asylum more than doubled from the same period
a year ago.

Long-overdue changes to the refugee review process in the past two years
have been helping to reduce the backlog of cases from a record 52,300 in
April last year to about 34,000 this summer.

But a new spike in refugee claims would easily erase those gains and then some.

Statistically, more than half of those claiming to be refugees fleeing
persecution, torture and famine are not doing anything of the sort -- they
are merely immigration queue-jumpers looking for a fast way into the country.

If the fakes were turned back at the border, there would be no crisis in
the refugee system. But cases can take years to make their way through a
cumbersome, overloaded system of hearings, appeals and appeals of the appeals.

And almost no one is denied access to the process.

One of our favourite oddball refugee cases currently in the appeals system
is a claim for asylum from a convicted California pothead and jailbird who
smokes up for a medical condition.

He is claiming refugee status in Canada on the grounds he would be
persecuted in the U.S. -- that is, put in prison on multiple dope
convictions, and thereby deprived of his marijuana "medicine" during his
term behind bars.

He was ordered deported back to the U.S. two years ago, but is still here
on appeal, as he said, "happy to get lost in the court system."

And while he's waiting to see if he is a refugee or a fugitive, our federal
government has given him a permit to grow his own dope. Only in Canada.

Even Bigger Overhaul

All of which may help to explain why Immigration Minister Judy Sgro jumped
into the news this week, promising an even bigger overhaul of the refugee
determination system.

"I don't intend to be a caretaker minister," Sgro said in an interview in
the Globe and Mail. Of the refugee system, she added: "There's a problem
and everyone knows there's a problem."

In case there is anyone who doesn't know exactly what that problem is, let
us introduce a random sample of souls who have recently made it to the end
of the great Canadian refugee queue.

As you read the following hard-luck stories (as recounted by the
Immigration and Refugee Board), keep in mind most of the people involved
have been in Canada for years, many entitled to all the social benefits
your tax dollars can buy.

Other than that ... A Tamil gang member sought refugee status on
"compassionate grounds." At the time of his immigration hearing, he had
been convicted of uttering threats, possession of a dangerous weapon,
assault, attempted theft, obstructing a police officer, and was generally
considered "a social blight that undermined the public safety and good
order of Canadian society."

If at first you don't succeed ... A Sri Lankan man was allowed to remain in
Canada for the past five years while he made three separate refugee claims.

The first immigration panel did not believe his identity, the second did
not believe his story, and the third didn't believe either.

You may kiss, um, yourself ... An Algerian man's claim of being married to
a Canadian had "significant contradictions and discrepancies concerning
their relationship."

Among other things, "he had gotten married in Algeria without the bride
being present." In fact, the first time they met was almost 18 months
later, just before the wedding party.

You may kiss, um, your uncle ... A claim by a woman from Fiji was rejected
in part because the first time she had been allowed into the country "she
became a permanent resident and married her sponsor, her uncle. Her father
forced her to return to Fiji two years later."

Your passports, please ... A Jamaican man amazingly made it all the way to
the refugee appeal board, even though he had already been deported once
before for trying to enter Canada with forged documents. He "not only
entered Canada illegally, he used the fraudulent citizenship card to try to
obtain a Canadian passport, worked in Canada without authorization, and
made a false refugee claim based on untruthful information."

'Not Wanted'

If the new immigration minister is serious about overhauling the refugee
system, perhaps she could start by arming border officials with a new
passport stamp:

"Not wanted. Get lost."