DON'T BE AFRAID TO HELP A YOUNG PERSON IN TROUBLE WITH DRUGS

I recently heard about a young man who died at 18 of drugs and
alcohol. They said, "He died peacefully in his sleep." When someone
dies peacefully in their sleep, he is elderly, but when an adolescent
dies that way, he has been screaming for help and it is a tragedy. I
understand that people honored his life and claimed that it was his
path to die at 18 years young. Why would it be his path to die so young?

Drugs are insidious. I know because I lost my young son at 20 to a
drug overdose. This is different but many things are the same. This
young man went to a "pharm party," which I learned is where all the
kids bring drugs and alcohol (who sells it to them?) to the party,
place it in a bowl and play Russian roulette with their lives by
reaching in the bowl and taking whatever.

My son died from heroin and crack that he took, and there was no
party. I certainly had anger at the loss of my child, at his friends
who did not tell me he was doing drugs again, at his great potential
being cut off. I was saddened at the world that made him so angry and
desperate, and furious at the drugs and what they do to our young.
Yes, I did interventions and drug programs for him, and he still
couldn't survive. But we must try.

We have to help our children, and our youth have to help each other
to see that they are playing a deadly game, and especially that drugs
poison their minds and bodies. Weren't there signs? Why didn't the
parents and friends do an intervention? We are losing a generation to
meth. Some of us are forced to plan for caring for this generation in
the future because of the problems they will face soon from their drug use now.

My appeal is to parents to watch your kids, get them help if you see
or hear them on this path. Look for the signs, including problems in
school, stealing, dropping out and disappearing. My appeal is really
to the youth, who are themselves taking drugs and playing with their
lives. Please, you have to monitor each other and watch out for one
another. Stop going to pharm parties, stop playing Russian roulette.
Start intervening to save your friends and yourselves.

My generation, the hippie generation, went further than our parents,
who just drank alcohol; we smoked marijuana. So we were the adult
children of alcoholics, and now we have the "adult children of
potheads" generation. I know many of you see no problem with smoking
"herb," but it is a drug, it destroys brain cells, causes
a-motivation syndrome, harms your lungs and stunts emotional
development. When our kids see pot as a norm, their rebellion goes
further, and they take all kinds of stuff. It's time to sober up,
take responsibility and set an example for the kids so they see
sobriety works and is attainable, and then give them tough love and
limits and interventions when needed. Increase your credibility and
make a difference.

I recently attended a memorial for a dear friend who died at 62 after
accomplishing so much in his life. He helped save the aina of Maui
and worked to stop the Superferry and was a brilliant international
lawyer and president of Maui Tomorrow. When he died, he said he was complete.

Do you really think this young man or my son were complete and
satisfied with their short lives? What would my son have accomplished
if he had not been taken by the addiction of drugs? What would this
young man have done with his life? Maybe he would have been a teacher
and helped the youth, maybe a doctor, which we desperately need.

We have to awaken the love for each other in our youth and extend
that love to assist one another to get healthy and get clean and
sober. Let this young man's death stand as a reminder to his ohana to
help themselves and their friends out of the drug cycle. It's a time
of great tragedy and great potential emerging. Take this potential
and find the light and bring it forth.

Hermine Harman, a social worker, serves on the Maui County Health
Initiative Task Force and is co-chairwoman of People United to
Support Superior Health Care.