TRANS FAT JUNKIES COULD BECOME NEXT POLICE TARGETS

The following story is not true. But by this time next year, it could be.

York Regional Police have arrested an 85-year-old Richmond Hill woman
after raiding yet another fat house.

It was the sixth trans fat lab discovered in York Region this
month.

"Trans fats are not only a threat to the health and well-being of York
Region residents, they are also linked to organized crime gangs,"
declared Chief Lloyd Braun at a news conference where police displayed
hundreds of cookies, pastries and a sizable plate of fried chicken.

The accused, Susan Ross, is believed to be a member of the Richmond
Hill Presbyterian Church Ladies Guild, an organization responsible for
the sale of hundreds of trans fat laden items, the chief said.

A raid late last month on an illegal bake sale led police to the quiet
Mill Street home, where a kitchen was found stocked with equipment
including deep fryers, dutch ovens and muffin tins. Police said the
materials confiscated at the site were worth $38,000, based on
official estimates that muffins sell for $500 a dozen.

The raid was part of Operation Greasebucket, a police campaign
launched shortly after the federal government simultaneously
decriminalized marijuana and passed a private member's bill banning
trans fats.

Since then, York Region drug and vice officers have been monitoring
suspected fat labs in industrial and residential buildings. The Air2
helicopter's infrared camera has been used to detect areas of intense
heat within buildings, which are indicative of deep fryers.

Police have arrested nine people on charges of producing, selling and
possession of trans fat items.

Officers discovered six children living in fat houses and police have
found evidence trans fat items have been distributed to minors,
including one incident in which trans fat brownies were sold in an
elementary school.

Victoria Square Elementary School, where the brownies were allegedly
sold to raise funds for playground equipment, is conducting a thorough
investigation, according to principal Sue-Ellen Mischke.

"We follow the school board's strict no-fat policy," Ms Mischke said.
"It was our understanding the items in question were fat-free hash
brownies."

The Children's Aid Society has taken all six minors found in fat
houses into custody.

"It just shows how these hardened criminals will stop at nothing to
sell their fat-laden wares. I can't begin to express my disgust at a
person who would expose a child to cookies," the chief said.

Residents in the Mill Street neighbourhood expressed surprise at the
raid.

"Mrs. Ross was a very quiet neighbour. You'd see her going in and out
once in a while, usually to go to church or buy cat food. We never
imagined baking was going on inside," said a woman, who refused to
give her name.

But police say a general lack of suspicious activity is a sign a fat
lab may be operating in your neighbourhood. Other indicators include:

Condensation on the windows;

A mouth-watering aroma emanating from the windows;

Portly yet highly active children hanging around the
premises;

Neat, meticulously landscaped gardens. ("These baking types are
often into rosebushes, too," the chief cautioned.)

If you suspect a fat lab is operating in your neighbourhood, call
police, CrimeStoppers or the local NDP riding association.

Police expect to continue and expand the campaign.

"I just want all these criminals to know we are watching you and we
will find you. We won't rest until every french fry, every piece of
fried chicken, every cookie and every doughnut is off the streets of
York Region. And you can count on it," the chief said.

"Doughnuts?" police association president Todd Gack said. "Nobody said
anything about banning doughnuts."