DRUG USE AFFECTS WHOLE COMMUNITY

Bonnyville residents gathered at the French cultural centre Thursday to
learn about how to deal with drug use in families.

"We've had some wonderful experiences with our family and some really bad
experiences in our family," said Yvonne Allan. "I hope that some of the
things that have gone on with us will help other people."

Allan took some time to walk around Bonnyville before giving her
presentation and said it didn't take her long to find someone who'd been
affected by a family member's drug use. In fact, the second person she met
had a child involved with crystal meth.

"It's likely that if no one in your family is involved, there are people
close to you who are," she said.

Allan said substance abuse doesn't just affect the child or the family, it
affects the whole community which is why the whole community needs to be
part of the solution.

Allan said two of her three children are currently dealing with substance
abuse problems and are currently in the judicial system. Her youngest son
was a bright, easygoing child.

"There was no reason to think there would be any problems with him," she said.

Allan said he was labelled as an "ADD kid" when he went to school. She said
drug and alcohol use is common amongst kids diagnosed with ADD because
they're "impulsive and do something on the spur of the moment without
thinking of what will happen."

He started smoking in elementary school, in part, she believes, because of
his older brother's influence.

At the end of Grade 5, his school's principal called, reporting he'd been
caught trying to hide something in the bathroom. That something turned out
to be a cigarette package and matches. The cigarette pack had marijuana
roaches in it.

In junior high, he started drinking and graduated to drugs including
marijuana, hash, crack, crystal meth, ecstasy, cocaine and "anything he
could get his hands on."

"He must have been a terrible kid from a terrible family, right?" Allan
said. "It's a myth that we can tell which kids will be involved in drugs."

Allan said both she and her husband are well-educated professionals and she
stayed home with her children when they were young -- two things most
people think makes it unlikely children will use drugs and alcohol.

Allan said parents like to believe their kids even when something is
nagging at them that something's not right. She encouraged parents to trust
their gut instinct.

In junior high, she said, her son started stealing to support his habit,
and he kept getting caught. She said seeing her son in the courtroom was a
very painful experience.

At 15, she said, her son tried meth and he has since told her that he knew
when he took his first hit that he was hooked. Everything escalated from there.

"We didn't clue in for awhile about the effects," said Allan.

Then one night he came home early and was fidgety. He said he was
frightened and laid on their bed. He was restless and his heart was beating
fast.

"We clued in that it wasn't just drinking or marijuana or cigarettes," she
said. "Something was really screwing him up."

At 18, he was at his parents house when he collapsed in the kitchen.
Fortunately, he didn't have a stoke or heart attack.

"I hoped it would clean him up for treatment," Allan said.

Unfortunately the hospital called the next day to say he left.

"I didn't know what to do for him," Allan said. "He didn't set out to
become an addict. He didn't intend to cause pain for his family or himself."

Allan said kids think they have good reasons to use drugs. She said it's
important to try to get to the reason why they are using and not just
lecture them about the dangers of drugs.

"When you talk to your kids about drugs, talk to them about the good things
they do as well," she said. "There's a tendency to focus only on the drugs.
If that's the only thing you focus on that will become the only thing."

Allan said her oldest son got involved with drugs in junior high, mostly
with marijuana and LSD.

"He kept his belief in education and school," she said, noting he worked
hard in high school and made the honour roll in Grade 12.

At 19 he started drinking. Then one night he went to a birthday party. At 6
a.m. the following morning, she received a phone call from the RCMP saying
her son had been in a collision.

"He had been drinking. He was driving 160 km-h. He pulled out to pass
another vehicle and a semi-truck was coming towards him," she said.

The semi driver pulled over, and her son hit the rear end of the truck.

"It was every parent's worst nightmare," she said.

Her son went to jail and eventually got out on an early release. Allan said
he started hanging out with a friend that wasn't good for him. He knew he
couldn't drink so he started using cocaine.

Near the end of the summer, he used crack, went into a drug induced
psychosis and stabbed himself. He ended up back in jail for breaking his
probation.

She said finding people she could talk to was an important part of dealing
with her sons' problems.

"It's such a relief to be able to talk about it and know it could be
anyone's kid," she said.

Allan said help is available not only for the substance abusers but for
their families as well, through AADAC, private therapists and group programs.

"I encourage people to be that support," she said. "These are not terrible
kids. They've done terrible things, but alcohol and drug use is one part of
their lives, one part."

Allan said it's important for the community not to judge and condemn the
family.

"Good families have kids involved with drugs. Good kids get involved with
drugs. Honour students get involved with drugs," she said.

Allan said it's also important to her that people still acknowledge her
sons and ask about them when they see her.

"They're still your child and you still love them, not matter what they've
done," she said.