ALL METH-AMPED UP

And nowhere to go but down

Thirty-five-year-old Greg DJed and partied his way through the gay
club scene during the height of '90s rave culture. Diagnosed
HIV-positive in 1998, he then became a one-man safer-sex campaign. So
why then would be find himself four years later butt naked in broad
daylight on a West Hollywood hotel balcony fucking bareback with a guy
who'd just informed him that he "had the come of 15 guys inside him"?
Blame Tina.

"I walked into this hotel room, and there was this hot guy on the bed
who was a drug dealer," the man who grew up in small-town Ontario
confesses on a panel discussing the rise of Crystal
Methamphetimine--more commonly know as Crystal Meth, Tina, crank, or
ice--and particularly its usage in the gay community. "I snorted two
huge lines, and this guys says he wants me to be the 16th guy... and I
somehow find it a huge turn-on."

"On Tina you're a pig," admits Shaun Proulx, who described his own
Tina-enhanced sexual escapades in a feature for Toronto's Xtra!
magazine last fall. "There is a breakdown of inhibitions, which can be
a growth experience. Of course, when you are doing things that are
harmful to your health, then it's not a growth experience."

In the article Proulx describes a 17-hour "cumless fuckfest" (Crystal
Meth often makes it impossible to come) he has with a guy, that leaves
his dick raw and sore. They had to shower at one point because the
chemical stench from their bodies was intolerable. The two water
bottles he'd so carefully laid out on the bedside tables before their
session remained untouched.

On Tina, taking care of basic needs like peeing, eating or drinking,
go to the wayside. Similarly does a sense of appropriate sexual behaviour.

"I witnessed a scene that included a dog once," says Greg, who has
been clean--save for an occasional slip-up--for about a year. "I
didn't cross those lines, but others did."

"The behaviour is base, animalistic," admits Proulx, who has been able
to restrict his use, having done it only five times in the last two
years.

And Tina makes it not only "okay", but also physically possible to go
to any extreme your fantasy mind can take you.

Craving the marathon

While Crystal Meth is extremely addictive (an estimated 90 per cent of
regular users become addicts), the physically addictive nature of the
drug is only part of the problem.

Try returning to a regular sex life when you're used to 20-hour sex
sessions, or are able to get hard and come seven times in one night,
as Greg did during a binge at a gay bathhouse.

And as inhibitions go out the window, so often do thoughts of
protection.

Though research is split on whether Crystal Meth causes men to have
unsafe sex (some believe men who are already inclined to slip up are
only more likely to do so under the influence of drugs or alcohol),
the rising prevalence of Crystal Meth use in the gay community is
cause for concern.

"I can't keep my hands off my dick," says "Tom," one of the Meth users
Proulx quotes in his piece. "For me it's all about the cock, and on
Tina you outlast everyone at the baths. But eventually you get so
horny, you'll pick from the slimmest of pickings, even if it's someone
I'd never fuck."

On-line, Meth is the number one Party and Play (PnP) drug of choice.
PnP guys don't care what you look like or whether you like long walks
on the beach. "The number one question," says Proulx, "is `What are
you into?' And the number one answer is `Tina.' And you take it from
there."

Not everyone craves dick on Crystal.

A woman who spoke up during the panel says she doesn't even think
about sex when high. And most of the women she knows who do Meth just
"get real bitchy for a few days."

One Crystal Dick combo, please

But that's why Meth and gay men are such a toxic combo, says
Proulx.

"Sex is the point of difference for us," he tells me. "Promiscuity is
a right and a political expression for gay men. We're allowed to be
more extreme in all sexual behaviour."

But there are dangers in this, beyond ending up with a sore dick. To
cure Crystal Dick (loss of erection from Meth) Tina users often turn
to Viagra, or inject erectile drugs to stay hard, combinations whose
dangers are unpredictable and whose harm is unknown.

The crash afterward can last days, making people too depressed or
anxious to seek help, says Christopher, a panelist who treats drug
addiction and has seen an increase in gay men coming to him addicted
to Meth. The intensity of the crash often sends them back to Tina,
where they feel confident, energetic, and sexy.

Even once kicked, the cravings and delusional side effects linger.
Greg recently looked out his window and saw brooms attached to the
side mirrors of cars, a sign to him that he was trying to clean out.

Developed in the 1800s, amphetamines were originally used during World
War II to keep soldiers awake. Now, amphetamines, in various forms,
from diet pills to lethal home-lab created concoctions like Crystal
Methampetamine are the 2nd most commonly used drug in the world.

The World Health Organization estimates that 34 million people around
the globe use Meth daily, either snorted, smoked, orally or anally and
even vaginally ingested.

"I'm prepared to wear a placard that says `Buy Crystal Meth and get
HIV for free,'" Greg only partially jokes.

Proulx isn't a fan of scare campaigns such as these, popular in New
York and L.A., where Tina is an even bigger problem.

Rather than scaring or scolding, he'd see more forums where gay men
can be candid about their experiences, without fear of judgment, so
others can inform themselves and get help.

"I don't have a problem with using drugs to enhance sexual
experience," he says.

"But you have to know what you're getting into."

As he says, "Tina may be the life of the party, but she leaves your
place a mess."

For more info and support, check out the following sites:
tweakers.org, erowid.org, buzzcode.org, crystalneon.org,
lifeormeth.com.

Josey Vogels is Canada's premiere sex and relationships columnist. Her
new book, Bedside Manners: Sex Etiquette Made Easy (Harper Collins) is
available through her new website.