"IT TICKLES YOUR BRAIN"

HANOVER -- "It ruined my life . . . if I picked it up again I would
probably die."

A recovering drug addict in Hanover has put herself through the ringer of
drug addiction and has paid the ultimate price -- a shattered life.

The issue of drug use, particularly methamphetamines, in Hanover has
officers of the Hanover Police Service very concerned, as the substance use
has grown significantly over time.

Sergeant Ron Shaidle says police have really noticed a definite increase in
methamphetamine use in town.

"Over the past two years, there's been a significant increase," says Shaidle.

"The biggest concern is that the people taking this drug are unpredictable.
They are extremely strong . . . they are prone to more violent acts when
they're on these drugs," Shaidle explains. "Methamphetamines, it seems to
be a drug that has a very serious impact on the people who use it."

As well, Shaidle says, officer safety is an issue when trying to deal with
or arrest addicts on methamphetamines.

According to police, not only have there been cases of arrests for people
taking the drug, but there have been domestic assault cases investigated
that involve methamphetamines.

Just hearing about the effects and dangers of drugs or learning about drugs
in school is enough to keep many people from ever taking them.

However, only those who have allowed themselves to be hooked on harsh drugs
and lose control over their lives can truly understand how drugs can
completely diminish one's self and destroy one's life.

Liz Thorton is a 33-year-old Hanover woman with a long history of drug use.
Thorton knows all too well the long and short term effects of drugs and
chemicals on one's body, and regrets the way her addictions have torn her
life apart.

Liz Thorton is not this woman's real name. For the sake of telling her
story, an assumed name has been used to protect her identity. This was also
requested by the Hanover Police Service.

Thorton says she has used several kinds of drugs throughout her life, but
the most recent and most serious addiction was with methamphetamines, more
commonly known as crystal meth or speed.

Methamphetamines come in forms of rock-like crystals, crushed powder, and
capsules or tablets. The drug can be taken orally, with a needle, snorted
up the nasal passage, or smoked from a flat surface using a straw or pen tube.

Thorton says using methamphetamines came after many years of partying and
abusing other substances.

"My first addiction was alcohol, and it was a problem," she says. She began
consuming large amounts of alcohol and smoking marijuana as a young
teenager. In 1989, at age 18, Thorton became pregnant. She had a son.

She left the father and, after her son was born, she left her son with her
parents and ran off with a new man.

When she eventually returned, her son didn't know her at all.

Thorton says there was a simple reason that led her to drugs. "Because I'd
been around drugs all my (young) life."

Thorton then met another man, whom she married and lived with, drug-free,
for five years. After five years, the couple began partying and fell back
into substance abuse. Thorton lost a well-paying job in Hanover because of
her drug use, and soon became pregnant with her second child.

Thorton and her husband separated before her second son was born, and then
reunited long enough for Thorton to conceive child number three, a daughter.

At age 20, Thorton began using cocaine, banging (using) the drug with needles.

"Man did I love it," Thorton says.

She used cocaine for about a month, and then discovered the one drug that
gave her the most powerful high -- crystal meth.

Thorton began taking speed in 2000, when she says she went "freedom crazy,"
away from her controlling husband. She remembers starting off by snorting
small amounts of the drug every so often. Before long, she began doing
bigger lines of crushed speed and hung out at parties with heavy drug users.

"I'd been doing crystal meth for about a year and then started banging the
drug (using needles)," explains Thorton.

She says there are a few positive reasons she took speed. There was a
feeling of a sense of confidence in herself, as she was a person with no
self esteem, without the drug.

"(You feel) you can do anything," Thorton says of the effects of the drug.

There are, however, countless negative effects of taking speed, many of
them uncontrollable. Depriving one's body is one.

"You get stupid and you stay up for days, with no food, no sleep, because
you don't need it," Thorton says.

As well, Thorton says, speed causes you to hallucinate and become paranoid.
Speed users also can act too carefree, and don't believe there's anything
wrong with them or what they're doing while on the drug.

"I can see myself walking down the street, clapping my hands and acting
like an idiot," Thorton says. "I'd definitely describe it as a mind drug .
. . it tickles your brain."

Thorton also remembers feeling overheated after banging speed, and randomly
taking her clothes off while walking down the street.

Thorton also recalls breaking out into sweats after taking speed, being
overcome by fits of anger, and even developing a constant picking problem
where she would pick at carpet or even pick at her own skin until she left
scrapes and sores.

As she describes the drug and its effects, it's clear to see the effects
the drug has had on Thorton. Marks on her face show signs of the incessant
picking, and she is unable to remain seated for more than a few minutes
during the interview, without fidgeting or getting up to do something.

She complains of always feeling very tired.

But Thorton insists there are a few positive aspects to taking speed.

Perhaps the most negative effect speed and other drugs have had on
Thorton's life is the loss of her three children. Thorton's drug habits
took a large toll on her parenting, often leaving the children to find
their own food in the house, and even dress themselves, often with dirty
clothes found in the laundry.

The memory of the past state of her children brings tears of guilt to
Thorton's eyes.

"My kids . . . my beautiful kids, they were troopers," sobs Thorton. "I
miss my kids a lot."

Thorton's family stepped in to fix the situation for her children, but she
says she had terrible feelings against them.

"(I was) angry and frustrated at my aunt and uncle because they were the
ones who called the Children's Aid Society," says Thorton.

Her three children were taken out of her care and were put with their
father by the Children's Aid Society, because she was deemed an unfit
mother. And aside from losing her children, Thorton lost the respect of her
parents and family.

"It just about killed my mom and dad . . . my dad still doesn't trust me,"
says Thorton. "It takes a long time to regain that."

Since that time, Thorton has been arrested, charged and jailed several
times for her drug use. She remembers being searched and police finding
needles, spoons, baggies of drugs and viles of water for mixing the speed
for needle intake.

Thorton remembers her times in jail, and being away from her family around
the holidays.

"I was talking to my kids at Christmas when I was in jail," says Thorton.

She lived on the streets around Hanover after being released from jail the
last time. She was taken in by a man who is now her roommate and landlord.
Thorton helps around the house in exchange for food and a roof over her head.

Thorton insists she has been clean from speed since September 2004, and
decided after getting out of jail that she no longer wants to take the drug.

Thorton describes her fears of the drug now, realizing how much of her life
has been ruined by speed and other drugs. A major realization came in a
sober moment, when she began noticing the appearance of others who are on
the drug.

Thorton has noticed that some of her young relatives and friends seem to
have symptoms of being on speed, which scares her.

Thorton wants to see her children more often, now that she believes she
will stay off drugs. Since June, she has spent a total of 20 minutes with
her kids, because she had no desire to see them when she was on speed.

But now Thorton wants to make the effort to see her children.

Looking back on her drug addiction, Thorton says if she could turn back
time she'd never have taken speed.

"Knowing what I know today and what I feel, I would think not," she says.

She hopes other young people will take something from her story and will
think twice about taking drugs.

"Hopefully they'll pick up enough (information) that they'll think hey,
this stuff can kill me," Thorton says. "Do you want to live? Because if you
want to live, don't take it. It will suck you down . . . I don't care how
long it takes, it will kill you."