DRUG CZAR BLOWS IN, WEEDS OUT MEDICAL MARIJUANA SUPPORT

Opening Shot

Medicine was once ruled by tradition. Doctors resisted for years the
radical notion that they should wash their hands before examining patients
or operating. They found the suggestion insulting; it implied they were dirty.

We like to think we're more open to new ideas nowadays, and we are. But not
as much as we like to think. A mass of scientific evidence and overwhelming
professional approval, for instance, mean nothing when it comes to the
issue of medical marijuana, not to the government, not compared to the
long-held notion that pot is a drug and all drugs are bad.

The Bush administration is fanatical on this subject, a passion
dramatically demonstrated Thursday in Springfield when onlookers were
surprised to see drug czar John Walters blow into a hearing the Illinois
House of Representatives Human Services Committee was having on a bill to
set up a program for legal medical marijuana in this state. Ten other
states already have such a program.

Walters, who is in Bush's Cabinet, came in with a large Secret Service
presence, testified for an hour, and then left. Apparently his usual
farrago of distortions and fabrications was convincing, because two
Democrats flipped -- Michelle Chavez of Cicero and, to the shock of many in
her liberal district, Naomi Jakobsson of Champaign -- and the bill was
voted down.

I'm not sure why I care about this -- I was never one for pot, and nobody I
know is dying of cancer, not anymore. I guess, for me, the repression of
medical marijuana represents the hidebound, head-in-the-sand, politicized
approach the Bush administration takes to all things scientific, whether
quashing stem cell research, ignoring global warming or slavering to rip up
the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to draw out a few months worth of oil.

Yes, but how?

Since I so prominently featured the neon green "STOP THE WAR" sign that
peaceniks recently raised on a busy street corner in Northbrook -- or what
amounts to a busy street corner for Northbrook -- I feel morally obligated,
in the name of balance, to present the following:

We were in the car, on our way to a movie, when I noticed a half-dozen or
so people just finishing setting up yet another sign at Shermer and
Walters. This one has a large American flag, two yellow ribbons, and
"SUPPORT OUR TROOPS."

I sighed, pulled the car over and got out, just as most of the group were
leaving. But one adult and a couple of high school kids were taking
pictures of themselves. I tried speaking to the adult -- he didn't want to
give his name, and had a terse manner, either because he was publicity
averse, or perhaps was just being a jerk.

He thumbed me over to the two teens, Michael L. Smith, 16, and Bradley
Pappas, 15, of Glenbrook North High School. Denying the obvious, they said
they weren't inspired by the anti-war banner.

"Just trying to do the right thing," said Smith.

"Patriotism," said Pappas.

Well, I'm all for doing the right thing and patriotism. The sign has been
up for a few days now, and my bet is that, unlike the anti-war banner, it
will not be torn down every other night. Proof that patriotism comes in
many forms, both in speaking out, and in letting others speak out.

At least I didn't say it was 'NU'

People write in every day with corrections. The majority are minor
grammatical points, word use objections, or quibbles that I only wish I or
the readers had the time and focus to care about.

But one error of mine last week strayed close enough to being a gaffe that
I want to correct it. I wrote that the first nuclear reactor was built
"under a University of Chicago squash court."

The truth, as a reader pointed out, is that it was built on a squash court,
under the stands of Stagg Field.

A fine distinction, perhaps. But significant enough that I couldn't in good
faith shrug it off.

Tha Readerz Reakt

My comments on the lesbianism of Alan Keyes' daughter drew a big electronic
sack of e-mails -- none, sadly from Mr. Keyes himself, who seems to have
lost his trademark loquacity. I'm sure he'll regain his voice soon and come
thundering back at us, firing biblical passages out of both barrels.

Until he finds his tongue, we will have to be satisfied with the words of
his supporters, of which the following is a characteristic example. I print
it in its entirety, and have retained the original spelling so as not to
diminish its folksy charm:

"I was surprised to read your views on Allen Keyes daughter coming out of
the gay closet. It was apparent you are a gay simpitizer. I am surprized
you are in favor of the nasty dog freak lifestyles. I have lost all respect
for you now, anytime you are for a vulgar lifestyle like that. I applaud Mr
Keyes for having morals, and standards, not like you freak lovers. All of
you will be in hell together if you do not get saved, and ask the Lord to
forgive you of your freak mentality."

I might use a line from that for my autobiography: All of You Will be in
Hell Together: The Neil Steinberg Story. It has a ring to it, eh?

USS Psycho Bunny

Former presidents deserve respect. Even Jimmy Carter who, to his credit,
has not contented himself with golf, but has been an aggressive -- to some
tastes overly aggressive -- international do-gooder for the last
quarter-century.

So of course honor him. Name senior centers and, at the proper time, a
stamp after him.

But an attack submarine, as the Navy is doing this week? After the man
famous for two battles: a tragically botched rescue mission in the Iranian
desert and fending off a crazed aquatic bunny with an oar.

Yes, Carter is a Navy vet, the only president who was a qualified
submariner. But truly, I'm thinking of the poor sailors, ashore on leave in
a bar. One guy announces he's off the Seawolf, and another, off the
Defiant. The third stares into his beer and whispers, "The Jimmy Carter."
Too late now, I suppose.