EXPERTS: DON'T KEEP MUM ON DRUG PAST

President George W. Bush told a friend that he wouldn't publicly admit
using marijuana or other illegal drugs in his past, but experts say parents
would do better not to follow his example.

Parents may have a shot at keeping their kids away from drugs if they talk
to them early, honestly and often about the perils of drug use -- including
their own, experts say.

"Don't cover it up, but be honest and straightforward with your children,"
said Elaine Lederer, director of the Long Island Consultation Center in
Rego Park, which offers chemical dependence counseling programs.

In secretly recorded conversations starting in 1998 that came to light last
week, then-governor Bush told family friend Doug Wead that he would refuse
to answer questions about drug use "because I don't want some little kid
doing what I tried."

But it's parents, not the president, who need to communicate clearly about
their expectations concerning drugs and the harm they cause, said Tom
Hedrick, director of the Manhattan-based Partnership for a Drug-Free
America, which Tuesday will release a national survey on parents and drugs.

Parents should use every "teachable moment," from news stories such as the
president's comments to incidents that occur in their schools and
communities, to have "more discussion, more often," Hedrick added.

Those opportunities begin when they're young and continue after they move
out to go to school and even beyond, said Dr. Henry David Abraham, a
psychiatrist who wrote "What's a Parent to Do? Straight Talk on Drugs and
Alcohol" (New Horizon Press, $14.95).

It might be time for a talk when a 5-year-old asks for a sip of your wine
at dinner, or a middle-schooler is caught smoking a cigarette, or a college
undergrad comes home drunk. "Seize that opportunity to establish a
communication pattern that says parents and children can talk intelligently
of the dangers of drugs and alcohol," he said.

Children don't need to know all the gory details of their parents' drug
use, said M. Joann Wright, an assistant psychology professor and staff
psychologist for Student Counseling Services at Hofstra University.

Instead, she said, parents can offer them "an insider's point of view,"
telling them what attracted them to a drug, what they liked and disliked
about it, how they realized it was harmful, why they decided to quit -- and
why they're glad they did.

If parents get stuck on whether, what or how much to tell, and opt to do
nothing, "that would be a tragedy," Hedrick said.

There's only one piece of advice for parents still using drugs -- stop,
Wright said. "Do you know how many college students say they got their pot
from their parents' stash?" she said. "A lot of times parents are trying to
be the cool parents. It's not about you or your reputation. It's about your
children's future."