DEALING WITH THE DEMONS OF COCAINE

He is tall, handsome and his pleasant demeanour is not one most people
would think of as that of a crack or cocaine addict. He is polite,
articulate and well-mannered.

It has taken a long time for this 35-year-old-man to agree to meet with us
and tell us about his struggle with cocaine and crack addiction. We've
agreed to grant him anonymity and he has acquiesced, hoping that his story
might help others suffering from a similar plight.

"There are many people in this community who have a problem. Anyone who
says it isn't here is either naive, blind or just plain lying," he said.

He plays with the ice cubes floating in his Caesar at a nearby restaurant,
and as he begins to open up and talk about his experience, his eyes remain
focused and clear, despite the horrors they have seen.

"Cocaine can affect anybody from the junkie on the street to the judge on
the bench," he assures, adding that ultimately when it gets you, the hole
you become buried in is one and the same.

He describes the initial high cocaine brings as a feeling of invincibility,
as if someone has suddenly appointed you the master of the universe - a
superhero without a cause, because nothing of the like ever comes without a
price. Eventually, as paranoia takes Superman over and the blood vessels in
his nose begin to bleed, the things he'll do to prolong that fading feeling
are akin to forging a pact with the devil.

"There are people who will do anything for another hit. At first I was in
control. I started off as a recreational cocaine user, but then I began
losing control. The drugs were in control. I was going out a couple times a
week on two or three-day benders and ended up in some of the dirtiest,
grossest places you could possibly imagine on the planet," he recalled.

At an estimated street value of approximately $80 a gram, which could be
consumed in less than 10 minutes, it isn't hard to figure out what followed.

"I went through a lot of money. I lost touch with who I was. I lost touch
with reality. I lost my self-confidence. I lost my whole persona. I lost my
money, my equity, my credibility. I lost friends and was doing things I
normally wouldn't do," he recalled. "I was borrowing money from people. I
was taking money from people, and a couple of my business ventures failed."

The hours, days, weeks, months, years just disappeared.

"It is something that is always with you and it is a long process back," he
said. "The bottom line is that crack and cocaine are some of the most
addictive and powerful drugs that you can possibly take in the world. It is
physiological. You get addicted whether you are escaping from something or
just having fun on the weekend."

He said cocaine not only sped up his heart rate, but made him extremely
paranoid.

"I'd smoke a bowl and then I'd think the cops were busting down the door.

"Unlike pot, your appetite goes away. I'd go days without eating. For me
what I hated the most was the constant lying about where I'd been, what I'd
been up to," he said.

"For me being a business person I'd make up stories. I'd make up deaths in
my family that weren't even true. You are constantly covering your ass
because you're [messing] up all the time. That's what I hated most, the
constant lying and lying to yourself," he said. "Next thing you know you're
sitting around with a bunch of people that you would never, ever in your
life imagine that you'd be in the same room with."

His facial features stiffen and a look of disgust crosses his face as he
recounts one of his lowest moments. "I was smoking crack with a black girl
one night who was eight months pregnant. I was trying to score that night
and ended up in a crack house in Toronto. It was disgusting. That's when I
was like 'I've got to get the hell out of here.'"

He told his family, changed his environment and sought help.

"If you want out you've got to stop hanging around with the people
associated with that stuff. It is a cycle and you have to remove yourself
from that environment."

He moved to Muskoka, where his family owned a cottage, continued with
counselling through the Muskoka-Parry Sound Addiction Outreach, and has
been winning the battle.

"I'm not saying you have to move away but you have to change your
environment and healing is a long process," he said.

According to statistics provided by the Muskoka-Parry Sound Addiction
Outreach in the number of people reporting crack and cocaine use alone has
increased over the past year.

Their numbers show that between 2003 and 2004, out of a total of 675
clients seeking addiction counselling 47 (7 per cent) reported using
cocaine and 11 (1.6 per cent) reported using crack. Between 2004 and 2005
those numbers increased. This year, out of 543 clients seeking help, 58 or
(10.7 per cent) are reporting cocaine use, while 24 (4.4 per cent) are
reporting crack use.

Confidential help is available through Addiction Outreach services in
Bracebridge, Huntsville and Gravenhurst by calling 645-1311 or
1-800-668-1856. Or in Parry Sound, Sundridge and Burk's Falls by calling
705-746-7113 or 1-800-668-5192.

Help is also available through Nipissing Detoxification and Substance Abuse
Services at 705-495-8130 or through the Royal Victoria Hospital Addiction
Services at 705-728-4226.