LEGISLATORS' INTEREST IN GRASS REACHES NEW HIGH

MADISON - Just because Wisconsin legislators won't take up a bill that
would make marijuana legal for medicinal use doesn't mean they aren't
willing to experiment with a little grass.

State Rep. Chuck Benedict, a Beloit Democrat, has proposed making little
bluestem, a native prairie grass also known as schizachyrium scoparium, the
state's official grass.

There's no reason to suspect Benedict himself has ever tried little
bluestem, but he's clearly hoping to score with Clinton, Wis., fourth-
graders who asked him to introduce the bill. Benedict's proposal would put
bluestem in the same category with some of the state's other official
symbols, such as milk, the official state beverage, and corn, the official
state grain.

I suppose Benedict thinks a little grass never hurt anyone, but do we
really want a state representative sending the message to children that
it's OK to push grass in the Legislature? And what kind of image does this
send to the rest of the world?

"Nothing says Wisconsin quite like a little bluestem." Think of the gift
shop and T-shirt opportunities. Just don't try buying it at the airport.

This may come across as some innocent little project intended to teach kids
about the legislative process and getting involved in civic life. But don't
be fooled. It's obviously part of a larger plot to get everyone hooked on
the idea that "Life's So Good" here, as the state's new tourism slogan
proclaims. Think it's just a coincidence the ditty picked to promote that
image was ripped off from the British pop band SUPERGRASS?

Maybe it is time to tweak the state's image a bit. That cow and cheese
thing that landed heads up on the official state quarter doesn't exactly
scream "high-tech jobs and fun place to live."

On the other hand, pride in producing some of the world's best cheese is
much better than promoting some of the less fortunate things we're known
for. Who would want to see a quarter featuring the mugs of our
most-notorious serial killers? After all, we've produced some of the best,
if you care to look at it that way.

I'm not sure we need an "official" state anything, yet we've got 22
officially designated "somethings." And good ideas are hard to stop once
they get rolling in the Legislature. We've got a fish (muskellunge), a
flower (wood violet), a bird (robin), and of course, an animal (badger).
Instead of just one song (On, Wisconsin), we've got types of songs - a
ballad (Oh Wisconsin, Land of My Dreams), a waltz (The Wisconsin Waltz) and
a dance (the polka).

Still wondering why we're not drawing upwardly mobile professionals? When
is someone going to introduce a bill with a song produced in the last
half-century? Guess the Legislature isn't quite ready to give its blessing
to hip-hop, punk rock or electronica.

Hopefully, this little bluestem deal will go off without a hitch, and the
prairie grass will once again provide critical cover for Wisconsin. Other
states will look enviously toward us, hoping to get their hands on a little
of our grass.

Next thing you know, some school kids will want to change the state motto
from "Forward" to "Inhale." Just don't expect the same kids to take on that
challenge. Clinton didn't inhale.