'I DON'T WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE'

Twenty-three-year-old Jesse threw away his crack pipe in frustration
two nights ago. Caught in a constant battle against a powerful drug
that wants to control his body and his mind, he had given in to
powerful temptation and easy availability.

He is all too aware of how hard it is to shake the grip of persistent
addiction.

"Once you start, you're not thinking about how much money you'll have
left. You just want to do it more and more," Jesse says.

He had experimented before, smoking pot and hash and dabbling in acid
and mushrooms. But there were three drugs he said he'd never wanted to
try -- cocaine, heroin and crack.

DOWNWARD SPIRAL

He's since done coke but trying crack has sent his life spiralling
into a hole he's now struggling to pull himself out of.

The Ottawa native once had an apartment. He once held down two jobs --
a full-time gig at Wendy's and a part-time job at Tim Hortons.

That all changed after a friend offered him some leftover
crack.

"I tried it and right away I thought it was amazing."

Jesse says he paid $80-$100 a gram for crack. Because the high lasts
only a few minutes, he would often drop $500 a night on the drug. At
work, he'd pocket cash sales, or he'd take money right out of the till
to pay for his habit.

He got fired.

His rent went unpaid for three months. He was evicted and now spends
his nights at the downtown men's shelter, The Mission.

Jesse went without food, only picking up a slice of pizza every two or
three days. He's dropped from 255 lbs. to 165.

"You're giving in to a mental addiction," he says of the power of
crack.

Finally, Jesse realized he was sick of crack and what it had done to
his life. He contacted his mom, whom he hadn't spoken to in years, and
asked for help.

Last November, he enrolled in a 28-day detox program. Tempted by a
friend, he relapsed on Day 27.

He tried again. Until Tuesday night, when he blew all his cash on
crack, Jesse had been clean for a month and a half.

But Jesse is determined to beat his addiction. On Tuesday, he's
scheduled for an assessment at the Salvation Army's Anchorage program
to get clean. If accepted, he'll move in and start his treatment.

"I don't want to do it anymore," Jesse said.