GAYS MOBILIZE AGAINST METH ADDICTION

NEW YORK -- It's a Friday evening, traditional kickoff time for the party
scene in New York's gay community, but the 75 men packed into a small room
at a gay health center aren't in a partying mood. Through a humbling 12-step
program modeled after Alcoholics Anonymous, they are battling to kick their
addiction to methamphetamine, and in doing so escape an epidemic that is
roiling urban gay communities nationwide with disease, despair,
embarrassment and anger.

Meth is an equal-opportunity menace - many thousands of men and women,
gay and straight, have fallen prey to it in rural villages, placid
suburbs and city slums. But gay leaders in New York, California and
elsewhere bluntly acknowledge that their communities have distinctive
problems with the drug, and an unavoidable responsibility to combat
it.

"Years from now we'll look back, as gay men, and be pretty despondent
that we popularized and glamorized this drug," said Dan Carlson, an
ex-addict who has become one of New York's leading anti-meth
campaigners.

"I'm not anti-partying or anti-sex," he said. "But how can we fight
for our rights as a sexual minority if we don't establish what's right
and wrong in our community, and look out for each other."

Crystal meth - which can be snorted, smoked or injected - has been a
popular gay party drug on the West Coast for more than a decade, and
in New York since the late 1990s. In many cities, however, gay
activists and health officials were not quick to confront the fact
that the drug, by curbing inhibitions and boosting energy, encourages
unsafe multi-partner sex and thus increases the risk of HIV
transmission.

In New York, alarm over meth intensified in February, when health
officials reported a rare strain of highly resistant, rapidly
progressing HIV in a gay man who regularly engaged in meth-fueled sex
parties. But the tide began turning against the drug a year earlier,
when gay activists held the first of several forums on the epidemic
and an ex-addict named Peter Staley circulated posters with an
eye-catching message: "Buy Crystal. Get HIV Free."

Staley, a bond trader-turned-AIDS activist, is guardedly optimistic
that the forums and ad campaigns are helping stigmatize the drug.

"A year and a half ago, this was a whispered-about epidemic," he said.
"If it came up, it was someone bragging about their wild weekend on
meth, and no one had the courage to say, 'What the hell are you
laughing about?'

"That's completely changed," Staley said. "When gay men ask a friend
about it now, they're as likely to hear, 'That stuff destroys lives,'
as they are to hear, 'Oh, you should try this; it's amazing.'"

One indicator that the anti-meth message is spreading is a surge of
addicts seeking help at Crystal Meth Anonymous and other recovery programs.

Meth Anonymous started in New York six years ago with one weekly
meeting, attended by a half-dozen men. It now offers 24 meetings a
week, attended by anywhere from a dozen to more than 100 people.

Some of the men at the recent Friday meeting, clearly on edge, were
just beginning their attempt to quit; others had been off meth for two
years, yet still embraced the intensive group support in trying to
stay sober.

The evening's speaker, a former flight attendant celebrating one year
off meth, riveted the audience with a wrenching account of his unhappy
youth, his descent into prolonged addiction, his years as a hustler
getting paid for sex even as he contracted HIV and other diseases.
"Darkness" was how he described his life at the nadir.

The spiritual, abstinence-only philosophy of Meth Anonymous works for
some men, but repels others. Some counselors espouse an alternative
known as "harm reduction," cautioning users about meth's risks while
encouraging addicts who can't quit to avoid overdoses, take care of
their health and - to the extent possible - engage in safe sex even
while high.

Jean Malpas, a gay psychotherapist in New York, has been handling
meth-related cases for four years. He won't condemn harm reduction,
but says he has yet to encounter anyone who can use meth
recreationally without developing an addiction.

"At some point, when Friday night comes along, they don't know what
else to do," he said.

Increased publicity about the gay meth epidemic comes at an awkward
time for the national gay-rights movement as it pushes for same-sex
marriage rights.

"There is anger at the opportunity this phenomenon is giving the rest
of the world to associate the gay identity with promiscuous sex, with
out-of-control behavior," Malpas said. "We don't need additional
opportunities to be perceived negatively."

Kathleen Watt, who runs the Van Ness addiction-recovery center in Los
Angeles, believes some major gay advocacy groups have tried to play
down the epidemic.

"They're afraid people are going to say, 'Why should we put money into
HIV treatment when these guys are knowingly going out and having sex
and infecting other people?'" she said.

Matt Foreman, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task
Force, said some accounts of the gay meth problem had been "salacious"
and "overjudgmental" - highlighting the role of promiscuous sex while
underplaying the destructive addictiveness of meth for any user, gay
or straight. He praised gay activists for taking the lead in fighting
the epidemic.

Foreman and other gay-rights leaders also note that even in the
hardest-hit communities, most gay men don't use meth. Estimates have
ranged from 10 percent or 20 percent of all gay men, and as high as 40
percent in San Francisco - by any measure a problem that can't be
wished away.

Perry Halkitis, a New York University psychologist specializing in the
study of HIV/AIDS and drugs, says the root cause of meth addiction for
many gays is not sex or partying, but deeper problems of isolation and
low self-esteem, particularly if they are HIV positive.

"Users are often experiencing mental health problems," he said. "You
have this really vicious cycle - HIV, meth, depression."

Experts say many men in this category are experiencing "safe-sex
fatigue" - they are tired of using condoms, believe medication can
contain their HIV, and are emboldened by meth to forget their
difficulties and engage in unprotected sex. "Meth was the drug that
would turn your head off and allow you to have the sex you thought you
were missing out on," Kathleen Watt said.

At the Callen-Lorde health center, which serves New York's gay
community, the staff wrestles constantly with cases involving meth and
unsafe sex.

"Safer sex is not everybody's idea of a good time," said
Callen-Lorde's executive director, Jay Laudato. "When you're high, you
decide not to make the healthy choice - you think, 'Why should I?'"

The resulting addictions are often disastrous, Laudato said - men lose
their jobs, their friends and, because of one alarming side effect,
even their teeth.

The current prevention campaigning tries to promote the concept of
healthy, meth-free sex. Peter Staley's latest ads, for example,
feature posters of buff male models, accompanied by the slogan,
"Crystal Free and Sexy."

New York City's health department contributed $300,000 last year to
support the activists' education campaigns. More money is coming this
year.

"When gay men saw their peers' lives destroyed, it was like another
HIV/AIDS plague," said Brett Larson, director of the city's office of
lesbian and gay health. "This was something they weren't going to
tolerate. The community has done an incredible job getting the word
out."

One of the celebrities who enlisted in the campaign is John Cameron
Mitchell, director and star of the hit film "Hedwig and the Angry Inch."

"I've seen a lot of friends wasting away - they start to look like a
ghost and can't even see it," he said. "What we need are intelligent
scare tactics, to convince people the drug is uncool."

Such messages may not sway hard-core users, Mitchell said, but should
be targeted at gays who might be tempted to sample meth, particularly
newcomers to big cities.

"You have a lot of young gay men coming into the city - they were the
nerds in high school, the wallflower, the ugly kid," he said. "They
feel the city is the place to be sexy, to be a star, and they get a
false burst of confidence with a drug like this."

Internet gay sex sites are a particular concern to anti-meth
activists. Staley said at least one major site has been cooperative,
displaying health messages amid the dating profiles. Other sites have
been slow to help, and personal ads hinting at sex-and-meth parties
still appear, though less often than a year ago, he said.

In California, West Hollywood Mayor John Duran has been discussing
anti-meth strategies with players in the gay sex industry including
pornographic filmmakers and sex club operators.

"We didn't come through the AIDS epidemic, and the battles over gays
in the military and gay marriage, to end up here, a community filled
with drug addicts," said Duran, who is gay and HIV-positive. "We've
fought too long and too hard to let this drug take us down."