STOP, IN THE NAME OF THE LAW! OR WE'LL USE NAPALM.

Tipped off that several youths were headed to Turkey Island last Wednesday
afternoon to smoke pot and drink alcohol, Hamilton Police sent a small
brigade into the swamps surrounding the island to shock and awe the seven
wannabe hippies.

Hamilton Police Chief Walter Cullen authorized overtime to ensure the town
was covered while a platoon of officers took to the muddy trail on foot.
The group in blue included Det. Ken Nagy, Det. Stephen Trepanier, Lt. Bob
Nyland, Sgt. Paul Grant and officers Michael Marchand, Mike Wetson, David
Mastrianni and Sean Cullen. Apparently the 101st Airborne Division wasn't
available.

About 20 minutes along the sloppy path, the squadron of officers observed
seven youngsters walking on the trail. A search of the suspects and their
backpacks, police say, uncovered several bags of marijuana, marijuana
cigarettes and paraphernalia with drug residue. No weapons of mass
destruction were found, but we're sure they'll keep looking.

Meanwhile, the subjects were identified and determined to be juveniles,
four boys and three girls, all from Hamilton, Beverly and Danvers. Perfect.
A police officer for each prisoner and an extra one to keep an eye out for
Osama bin Laden.