BLOCKING RELIEF IS ITS OWN CRIME

Beth is a middle-aged mother and wife, a talented cook and a very
private marijuana smoker.

It provides some relief from the chronic pain she's suffered for
decades due to a variety of illnesses. Beth, who is wafer thin, is
often overcome by bouts of nausea that are relieved only by smoking a
little grass.

For all you know, she might be your neighbor.

The hundreds of others in Connecticut who have turned to reefer to
relieve chronic pain also include Todd, who lights up a joint every
night. He hopes to deaden some of the pain that still grips him 20
years after he wrapped a '69 Camaro around a utility pole and a
traumatic brain injury changed his life.

As with Beth, pot is the only thing that deadens his searing
discomfort. Todd says his foot pain - think of a ball-peen hammer
smashing your toes - never leaves.

I sought out Beth and Todd because I still don't know what to make of
Gov. M. Jodi Rell's confusing statement last June that she understood
the "pain and heartbreak" but couldn't support a bill approved by the
legislature for the limited, regulated use of marijuana for medical
purposes.

Allowing dying and chronically ill people a little relief would send
"the wrong message" to "our youth," Rell and other opponents said.

I thought of this when I sat with Beth, who wouldn't let me use her
real name, and she told me how staying alive means calming the nausea
so she can eat, so she can be a mother to her children.

"If I go into my bedroom right now and smoke my pot so I can then have
a sandwich," Beth explained, "I'm doing what I have to do to try to
gain weight so I can stay alive."

What kind of message will it send to Beth's children if she dies or
can't do her job as a mother? Yes, she could take OxyContin, a legal,
much-abused narcotic. It leaves her doubled over with nausea and
unable to function.

Rell said she was "troubled" that the bill would have forced
"law-abiding citizens to seek out drug dealers to make their marijuana
purchases."

The reality is that Todd and Beth and dozens of others are already
risking everything to buy their pot now. The bill Rell vetoed would
have allowed these people to legally grow their own. That's all.

"It makes me feel like I'm a criminal. It worries me that I have to be
watching my back - or have the federal government knocking on my
door," said Todd, who is unemployed because of the pain from his injuries.

The federal Drug Enforcement Administration is still arresting people
trying to provide the sick with marijuana, but 12 states have had more
courage than Connecticut, enacting laws that allow the sick to smoke.

"The federal government is flat-out wrong," said state Rep. Penny
Bacchiochi, a Republican from Somers. "Talk to AIDS patients, people
who go into chemotherapy. If it is somebody you love, you would say
there is a need for it."

"The states need to take things in their own hands," said Bacchiochi,
whose husband used marijuana before he died of cancer. "We have the
right to decide who we put in jail."

Meanwhile, the governor has moved on. Legislators couldn't muster the
courage to challenge her veto. But those in debilitating,
puke-your-guts-out pain, they haven't stopped smoking. They're still
terrified they'll be arrested, lose their jobs, homes and privacy.

"I have to live the rest of my life," said Todd, who is 41. "I'm going
to be in severe pain. Why shouldn't I be afforded the opportunity so I
don't have to experience the pain?"

Sorry Todd, sorry Beth. Our political leaders don't feel your pain.