IT TAKES A VILLAGE

According to a federal Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services
Administration report released last week, Boulder ranks No. 2 in the nation
for admitted marijuana use. With 10.3 percent of honest Boulderites over
the age of 12 admitting to using pot in the past 30 days, Boulder was more
than double the national average of 5.1 percent. Boulder finished second
only to Boston, Mass., which scored a whopping 12.2 percent.

We're honored, but frankly a bit incredulous. Second place? Come on!
Clearly, some Boulderites lied when answering this survey, while others may
have simply been too stoned to take the survey altogether, instead opting
to sit on their respective couches, watching re-runs of Pimp My Ride.

For those in the community contributing to Boulder's chill, relaxed,
pass-me-the-Doritos vibe, we salute you. And to those who seem to forget
what a good case of cottonmouth feels like, we say: Come on. Puff, puff, give.

Any goal worth achieving requires commitment and effort. In true Boulder
style, we should start with neighborhood study groups and city government
planning sessions geared toward encouraging the estimated 89.7 percent of
city residents who lied to tell the truth and helping earnest stoners
understand what's being asked of them when they take the poll.

Have your day, Boston, but enjoy it. In Boulder we take a few things
seriously, among them prairie dogs, microbrews, recreation and ganja. You
Bostonians might live in a blue state, but next year you'll be choking on
our bong water.