INHALING JUSTICE IN AMERIKA

The next time "devil's weed" (i.e. marijuana) buzzes your brain, please
reserve a moment to imagine the disapproving scowl of Elizabeth Dole, our
dis-compassionate, will-never-support-medical-marijuana senator. Two
seconds later, having ditched her churlish image from your mind's sated
eye, realize with glowing self-appreciation that getting high is a civic
duty, an act of civil disobedience; stated properly: Civil Disobedience.

Marijuana is not just for the sick -- it is for all of us who choose it.
Marijuana may be momentarily illegal in Raleigh and Pack Square, but it is
certainly ... available in our living rooms where, as you know, only the
best people congregate. Our living rooms act as oases in a desert packed
with upper-middle-class, white elites who would rather die than accept any
change not squeezed from their little minds. Elites who carry the burden of
believing they are your Mommy and Daddy out to protect you from yourself:
June and Ward Cleaver, maniacally plotting to keep their Beaver safe from
the likes of Eddie Haskell and company. [Meanwhile the] foolish antics of
bureaucratic knobs comprise a government that befits deleted scenes from a
Laurel-and-Hardy movie.

They simply don't get it; like, totally clueless. However, lacking the
marijuana issue, then it'd be something else, of course. Anything to
discredit the disrespecting masses who are their true sons and daughters,
sisters and brothers. Thankfully, we, the disrespecting masses,
collectively believe in our guaranteed right of free expression and have
promised ourselves to faithfully continue expressing our Civil Disobedience
regularly.

Our Mommies and Daddies in government should be grateful that we've
discovered a way to tolerate their foolishness. Only after I'm stoned do
they make any sense -- well, in a Laurel-and-Hardy sort of way. By the time
they fall under our care, parked in rest homes and the like, we will ensure
that only medical marijuana is available, having discerned that
pharmaceutical pain relief is simply inappropriate, unsafe. This is the
sweetness of justice in Amerika.

- -- John Buckley

Cullowhee