TV: SHOWTIME'S NEW 'WEEDS'

Showtime Show Not All (If Any) Hugs & Kisses

What is love? asks Showtime's new "Weeds" repeatedly and with a caustic
sense of humor that won't appeal to everyone.

Is it the mom who, after the sudden death of her husband, becomes a drug
dealer to keep her family in the middle-class lifestyle it's accustomed to?

Or is it the mom who constantly nags her preteen daughter to lose weight
because the world doesn't like chubby women?

"Weeds," which previews at 11 p.m. tomorrow before moving to 10 Mondays
(with several weekly repeats), is also quizzing viewers about their
expectations of humor.

Like an increasing number of half-hour shows -- more on cable, but Fox's
"Arrested Development" is also an example "Weeds" isn't asking its
audiences to laugh, but to wince. You have to work really hard to find
anyone to like, at least among the adults, and even if you can, you might
be wondering, what's the point?

Although "Weeds" isn't a "Desperate Housewives" rip-off -- it was in the
works before ABC's hit was on the air -- it has a similar
secrets-of-the-suburbs theme.

Everyone in the well-manicured neighborhood of Agrestic, Calif., has
something to hide, although they don't do a very good job of hiding it.

Nancy Botwin, for instance, is your friendly neighborhood drug dealer,
including an accountant and a lawyer among her regulars. She won't sell to
children, and she wouldn't miss her son's grief counseling. But past that,
Nancy doesn't have too many rules in her life.

Nancy is played by Mary-Louise Parker, whose kitten-in-the-headlights stare
works well for a woman who apparently has no skills to rely on other than
her ability to move pot.

Nancy has two sons she's raising in between trips to her supplier and her
clients. And by the way, her supplier and her family could be their own series.

Shane (Alexander Gould), a precious 8-year-old, watches home videos of his
late father (Jeffrey Dean Morgan, a ringer for Robert Downey Jr. if Downey
could look utterly happy) and pretends to be a super hero. Silas (Hunter
Parrish) is a 15-year-old obsessed with the opposite sex.

Another secret that a lot of people know about in Agrestic, Calif., is the
fact that Nancy's friend Celia has a husband who's cheating on her with a
female tennis pro.

Celia is played by Elizabeth Perkins, who becomes less lovable with each
subsequent role in her career.

Celia is the Medea of the middle class with two daughters to torment. She
ships 15-year-old Quinn off to a boarding school in Mexico by the end of
episode one. Not so lucky is Isabel (Allie Grant), the chubby one, at least
in her mom's critical eye.

For all of her faults, Nancy is a devoted mother. Celia is also devoted --
to herself. You can tell she takes it as a personal affront that Isabel
isn't rail thin. She mocks her daughter and worse.

Isabel will get her revenge several episodes in. So does her older sister
Quinn, who makes sure her mother finds out about dad's affair.

Yeah, ABC's desperate housewives are starting to look a whole lot less
desperate -- and a lot nicer.

"Desperate" creator Marc Cherry also has more affection for the suburbs
than "Weeds" creator Jenji Kohan, obvious from Kohan's choice of theme
song, "Little Boxes," an anti-establishment folk song from the '60s.
("Little boxes on the hillside, Little boxes made of ticky-tacky, Little
boxes . . . all the same.")

Male characters include Andy Milder as Celia's nebbish husband, Kevin
Nealon as Nancy's accountant (and chief client), and starting in episode
four, Justin Kirk as Nancy's bad-boy brother-in-law, Andy. Andy counsels
nephew Silas on sex (just do it) and buys Shane a set of nunchuks.

(Casting trivia note: Parker and Kirk both starred in HBO's "Angels in
America.")

Teen hunk Justin Chatwin (Tom Cruise's son in "War of the Worlds") shows up
in episode one as Nancy's drug-dealing competition, who asks Nancy to help
him restock.

Doing his best Pauly Shore impersonation, Chatwin's character explains that
the midnight showing of "Winged Migration" ate up all his supplies -- but
not as much as "The Passion of the Christ" did.

"People got stoned for 'The Passion of the Christ?'" asks Nancy, horrified.
"That's disturbing."

"Not as disturbing as not getting stoned," Chatwin answers. "It's a
straight-up snuff film."

Remember, nowhere did we imply this was a family comedy.