Series: Requiem For Heroin's Victims - Part 4 Of 6

RENE VALDEZ'S DREAM ENDS WITH HEROIN

Rene Valdez made plenty of mistakes in his life. Those who knew him best
say he was well known, well liked and well loved by many, despite his
faults. Still, his heroin overdose death took them by surprise.

Heroin never had a significant presence in his life, his family says. For
Rene, his downfall was alcohol and cocaine, making his heroin-related
overdose death even more confusing for his family.

"When you're addicted to something you don't have a sense of right or
wrong, you do what the drink or drug tells you to do," Rene's father,
Carlos Valdez of La Salle, said. "When Rene was sober he loved life, and
yet, when he was drunk, everything went out the window."

Rene Valdex, 39, of 100 W. St. Paul St., Apt. 3, Spring Valley was
pronounced dead at 4:45 p.m. June 29, 2003. A bureau County coroner's jury
Aug 15, 2003, ruled his accidental death was caused by acute respiratory
failure due to an acute opiate overdose.

Trini Valdez, Rene's stepmother, says a child is like a tree. You water it
and help it grow straight. But people have to learn from their mIstakes.

Rene's childhood began normally.

When he was about 13, he threw a no-hitter in Spring Valley Little League.
He also had the makings of a promising boxing career in his early teen
years as a member of Louis Rios Boxing Club, an amateur boxing club that
held statewide competitions. His record was 4-1. The only loss came from a
decision, which, his father Carlos alleges, may have been because his
opponent was from Peoria, where the match took place.

Boxing managers tried to recruit Rene based on his raw talent, but Carlos
and Rene's mother, Josefina Washkowiak, who now lives in Texas, wouldn't
allow it because they would have to move out of Illinois and find new work.

Rene graduated from La Salle-Peru Township High School in 1982. A couple
years later, Rene met Marsha Perez, after she noticed him walk by her
family's restaurant in Spring Valley.

"I though he was so cute," Marsha recalled. "I fell in love right away."

They married Nov. 30, 1985, and began what would become a difficult and
confusing marriage that ended in divorce.

Life's Rocky Road

Rene and Marsha had their first baby, Angel Valdez, weeks after the
wedding. Two years later, Steven Valdez was born.

"He was a happy father," Marsha said. "He tried to do his best to support
his family. But he wanted to give them a better life than he had and he
just couldn't. It was frustrating."

They moved to Donna, Texas, about five miles from the Mexican border to
begin a life there. But work was scarce and Rene's drinking problem became
more apparent to Marsha.

His drinking combined with not being able to provide for his family led to
arguments between him and Marsha.

By late 1986, early 1987, Marsha moved back to the La Salle-Peru area.
Weeks later, Rene arrived, but the drinking continued, as did his contempt
for himself.

"He was jealous of my family because he couldn't support us," she said. "I
had to go to my parents for the gallon of milk or groceries."

One autumn day in 1988, Rene placed a bet on the Chicago Bears, praying
that if he won he'd quit drinking.

The Bears won and Rene used the money to buy a lot of groceries. He also
kept his promise for a couple years.

Shortly after Rene began drinking again so did the arguments between him
and Marsha. Eventually, they divorced in 1991 after Rene told her he didn't
love her anymore.

"He was my first boyfriend so I fell in love right away," Marsha said. "Now
I feel we got married too quick, but at the time, I wanted to stay married
forever."

Rene stopped drinking again for a short time after the divorce, but when he
saw Marsha out on a date, Rene fled to the bottle once again, then left the
Illinois Valley for what he thought would be forever.

Depression, Alcohol, Illegal Drugs

Rene began drinking during high school and his addiction to it slowly
progressed throughout his life. That addiction also led him to experiment
and then use illegal drugs, getting into trouble as he made his way through
life outside Illinois. Finding work as a hired hand was difficult. He
searched throughout the country, including Texas, Nevada and Memphis.

Rene got into trouble with the law no matter where he was, Carlos said. One
time, while spending a short time in Oklahoma, he was convicted of cocaine
possession.

Carlos often bailed his son out of jail, once telling him, "That's it. I'm
not going to bail you out anymore."

But nothing changed.

"An addict's denial can be so strong that it brainwashes that person,"
Carlos said. "His drinking led to the harder drugs."

Rene's addiction became so bad that he stole a lawnmower from his
grandmother, selling it to a pawnshop to buy booze and illegal drugs.

Around Rene's early 30s, he moved back to Donna, Texas, to live with his
uncle, Ray Valdez.

The move did him well, for a while. There he landed an electrician job for
a company that did work throughout the United States. He also married while
in Texas, but divorced a short time later.

He moved to Memphis in 2001 to work on the construction of a hospital. But
even there, alcohol and illegal drugs continued to have a presence in his life.

A Search For Stability

Rene continued to search for his place in the world. But at each turn, he
found himself in a courtroom.

Eventually, while in Memphis, he ran out of options.

"He asked me if he could move in with me," Carlos chuckled. "I said, 'You
want to live with your dad when you're 38?'"

Carlos reluctantly agreed, but put a restriction on how many months his son
could stay before he had to leave.

Rene moved in shortly after, finding a job at the Wal-Mart Distribution
Center in Spring Valley. Within a month he had his own apartment in Spring
Valley.

"He worked really hard after he came back," Carlos said. "The tips of his
fingers would be bleeding when he came home from work sometimes."

Rene spoke very good English and Spanish, which he used to protect others,
as well.

"He wouldn't let the bosses at Wal-Mart take advantage of the Mexican
workers," Carlos said. "I think they even though about making him a foreman."

Not all was well with Rene, though, despite finally finding stable work.

Several months before he died, Rene confided to Trini and other family
members that he was depressed and alone.

"His personal demeanor was up and down all the time," Trini said.

Rene struggled to keep cocaine out of his life. He admitted he used it to
lift himself from depression.

Between his work and battle with substance abuse, Rene spent time with his
family. He never missed his son's football games at St. Bede Academy, and
always displayed a soft place for the other children in his family.

Rene used to bring candy or a stuffed toy animal to his step-niece, Brianna
Pyszka. He also took his step-nephew, Andrew Cox, to Baker Lake in Peru to
compete in a fishing tournament.

"When he moved back to Spring Valley all he wanted to do was get his life
back in order and become a good father," said Marsha, who's last name is
now Pikula after marrying again.

Rene volunteered at the Hall Township Food Pantry for nearly a year before
it burned down. Records of exactly when he worked there were destroyed in
the fire, but food pantry director Candyce Wolsfeld estimated he worked
there for most of 2002 until months before his death.

"he didn't feel that since he was volunteering he should get more than
everyone else and that's rare sometimes," she said. "He was always very
nice and polite. If he had a drug problem, I didn't know about it."

One of his favorite activities was announcing and scorekeeping for the
Spring Valley Little League.

Carlos said Rene loved this job a lot because many of the players were the
sons of his friends.

"When he was sober he was a good kid," Carlos said. "He really cared about
people. But when he was drinking he was no good to himself or anybody else."

An Eerie Prediction

The Valdez family was at the funeral for Feye Perez, Marsha's mother, on
Nov., 13, 2002, when Rene walked up to Carlos from behind, hugged him and
whispered, "I never want to see this day come for you. I want to go first,"
Carlos recalled.

"That's weird because he did," Carlos said.

At about 6 p.m. Friday, June 27, 2003, Rene talked to Carlos on the phone.
He told his father that he had made plans to go fishing earlier in the day,
but he still wanted to help cut grass at Trini's father's farmhouse in McNabb.

That was the last conversation Carlos had with his son.

For the rest of that weekend, no one heard from Rene. This was unusual
because he called his family every day.

On Saturday, Carlos and Trini woke up extra early so they decided to let
Rene sleep in and not pick him up. Hours later, they stopped by Rene's
apartment to give him a bag of fresh eggs, hot peppers, onions, and other
vegetables.

Carlos knocked, but no one answered. Thinking nothing of it, he hung the
plastic bag on the doorknob and left.

The next day, Sunday, Marsha called Trini wondering why she hadn't heard
from Rene, and why he didn't show up to announce a Spring Valley Little
League baseball game that Saturday.

Trini had no idea, which worried Marsha. Trini suggested Marsha get a copy
of Rene's apartment key from her brother, Tony Perez, who managed the
apartment, and check on Rene.

Marsha trembled as she fit the key into the lock. When she walked in, she
noticed that the television, air conditioner and fan were still on. Tony
then walked into the kitchen and gasped.

Rene was lying on his back on the floor, with his glasses on. He was
wearing only boxer shorts and holding tightly to a chair with his right
hand. Several bills were near him.

On the table was a brown paper bag with a cold sandwich inside. Near the
bag were four carefully made lines of heroin, one of which was half the
size of the other three. Next to the line of heroin was a rolled-up $20
bill and his Illinois state identification card.

Marsha dropped to her knees next to Rene and shook him while Tony dialed
911. Then Marsha called Trini, who screamed when she was told what happened.

"And I knew," Carlos said. "I knew right away what happened after I heard
her scream."

A Family Remembers

It's been more than two years since Rene died from a heroin overdose. By
now, his family and others close to him have their minds made up on why he
used illegal drugs and how he became addicted.

"He didn't mean to kill himself. It was just an accident," Carlos said. "He
would use just enough to get him high and that time it killed him."

Rene's family believes he hadn't quite found himself after he and Marsha
divorced. Afterwards, there was little doubt among them that Rene suffered
from depression, turning to alcohol and illegal drugs to fill in the lonely
portions of his life.

"He suffered," Trini said. "He told me and others not to let him be alone.
I think it was loneliness that really killed Rene."

Not much has changed for Carlos. After fire destroyed Hall Township Food
Pantry in Spring Valley on Sept. 29, 2004, he bought and donated a chest
freezer in his son's name for the pantry, delivering it just days after the
fire.

Today a gold plaque on the freezer reads: "Donated in memory of Rene Valdez
by the Valdez family."

Carlos speaks matter-of-factly about Rene. But there was once, he said,
during the wake of a friend on July 6 at St. Hyacinth's Church in La Salle
when he cried. Rene's wake had taken place at the same church, and Carlos
hadn't visited since then.

"I miss him. He's the only son I ever had and now I don't have one," he
said. "I blame myself in part because I was drinking so much that I didn't
supervise him enough when he was young."

Nevertheless, Carlos and Rene were still close.

"I would rather have him alive and suffering from his problems," Carlos
said. "But that's life."

Trini now wants to know how she can help someone not make the same mistake
Rene did.

"How can we stop young people from dying from drugs? It's a question nobody
can answer," she said. "I worry about my grandchildren because you never
know. One of their friends might one day say 'Here, try this.'"

Trini and Carlos tell their 11 year-old grandson, Andrew, that if there is
ever a problem, even if he doesn't feel comfortable telling his parents, he
can always talk to them.

"We want him to know he always has a door open to get out," Carlos said.

When Rene moved back to Spring Valley he asked Marsha for her forgiveness.
She accepted.

"I have a big heart," she said. "I never kept the kids away from him. I
didn't hate him and the kids needed to know their father."

Rene visited Angel and Steven four times during their youth. When he moved
back to Spring Valley in June 2002, he tried to re-enter their lives, once
taking them to Matthiessen State Park to cook out and play games.

"He made us fajita meat," Angel, 19, recalled, then laughed, "that's all he
ever cooked."

Steven Valdez, 17, said he isn't sure what to think about his father's death.

"He was helping with the community so it just didn't seem to make sense,"
he said. "I was sad, but I was confused too."

For certain, both children know the dangers of illegal drugs and aren't
scared to let people know about it.

Shortly after Rene died, Angel was at a house party in Peru hosted by a
classmate. When looking for a friend, she walked into a bedroom and found
two of her classmates sitting on a bed with a mirror between them. On top
of the mirror was a pile of white powder. She said her acquaintance was
trying to talk the boy holding the straw out of snorting the powder.

Angel asked the boy is that was how he wanted to die, then told him that's
how her father died.

"I asked him if he wanted to die the same way my father did," she said. "He
called me the next day and thanked me. He told me he threw it out."

Perhaps the most troubling aspect of Rene's death was that he was close to
creating a semblance of stability in his life.

Rene had been setting goals for himself, he was an active community member,
and he had a good job, Marsha said.

"He was happy here, then all of a sudden he died from a heroin overdose,"
she said. "It doesn't make sense. I know he wanted to be a father, but that
heroin was here and he fell to it."