RAISING THE BOTTOM

BENTON COUNTY - The first time Jeremy tried methamphetamine, he felt
a tingling start at the tip of his scalp and rush out to his
fingertips in a surge of energy.

" It was like I was blasting off, " he said.

Years later, all he could feel was the dryness in his mouth -
cracked, bleeding lips and a tongue like 80-grit sandpaper that came
after days of drinking little or no water.

When Jeremy was using meth, he didn't have time to think about
anything else. He wouldn't stop to eat, drink or sleep. He would slap
himself on the back of the head or pound his chest with his fist to
stay awake so he could get another fix, staying awake for days.
Survival took a backseat to staying high.

For Suzy, meth was the next stop on a progression of drugs -first
alcohol, then a blend of alcohol and marijuana, then meth. She
snorted in at first.

" It was a quick high, " she said. " It was automatic. "

When her brain got desensitized to the drug, she started smoking it
and injecting it with a circle of users to get a stronger dose.

After 22 years of using the drug, a now sober Suzy has to take two
prescription medications to get a break from the voices she hears and
the hallucinations of demonic faces she sees throughout the day, the
result of a brain ravaged by chemicals.

" I can hardly take a shower in any peace, " she said.

What started as a curious experiment and a rush of rebellion turned
sour as the substance that once made Suzy and Jeremy feel good
quickly claimed every part of their lives.

Jeremy and Suzy, who prefer to go by their first names, were in their
second week of recovery last week at Decision Point, a residential
drug and alcohol rehabilitation program with branches in Springdale
and Bentonville. Before they were ready to endure the physically
draining process of leaving an addiction and the emotionally
exhausting process of rebuilding their lives, the two had to hit "
rock bottom, " the point where they had nothing more to lose and no
other choice but change.

It's possible to " raise a person's bottom, " helping them realize
their need for recovery more quickly than they would on their own,
said Larry Counts, director of Decision Point. At the treatment
center, recovering addicts are teamed up to help confront the lies
they tell themselves about their own substance abuse.

According to the Office of National Drug Control Policy, 8. 2 percent
of all U. S. treatment admissions are methamphetamine-related, with
higher use rates in the center of the country. About 98 percent of
users step onto the path to addiction with their first use. The
initial rush of dopamine gives them a superficial rush of happiness
and well-being, which makes it difficult to stop using.

In Decision Point's detox unit, therapists work to stabilize clients'
vital signs by offering them medications to deal with the symptoms of
withdrawal and vitamins to help rebuild. Clients then transition into
the residential unit where they meet in groups of eight to 12 to work
with a primary counselor who helps them with the accountability and
support necessary to work through a series of assignments related to
their history of use, and problems with honesty. The group offers
feedback through honest discussion, and the client can't move on to
the next assignment until the whole group signs off on it.

" It's basically a family within treatment, " Counts said. " You see
tremendous intimacy and honesty here. You can witness some of the
most incredible acts of kindness and compassion. "

That compassion is obvious between Jeremy and Suzy. The two have
little in common. They are at different ages and different phases in
life and they came from different parts of the country. They've only
known each other for a few weeks, learning each other's histories
through discussions in recovery group. But as Suzy recalled some of
the darker parts of her addiction, tears welling in the corners of
her dark brown eyes, Jeremy reached out and held her hand.

Suzy decided to stop using when that superficial feeling wore off and
turned to a dull buzz of meaninglessness and self-doubt. Even last
week, as the chemicals passed out of her system, she had to remind
herself to appreciate the little things in her day.

Some habitual methamphetamine users come out of addiction to find
that their brain has countered the rush of stimulants by lowering its
own seratonin production, permanently altering their ability to experience joy.

During her peak periods of use, Suzy withered from her current weight
of 130 pounds down to 86 pounds. She would often seclude herself in
her bedroom, communicating with her four children by passing notes
under the door. At one point, she stayed up for 17 days, picking at
the skin on her arm, ripping at the flesh on her face and pulling out
her eyelashes in a manic fit.

Jeremy called his addiction " a deep, dark, lonely pit, " that led
him to leave his two children home alone at night when his dealer
called to offer him a unique blend of the drug. His older brother
went to jail for selling meth, but that didn't stop him from using.

He finally woke up to his addiction after an extensive binge. He and
a partner used $ 10, 000 of drugs in a short span of time.

" I was up so long, every part of my body was shutting down, " he
said. " It was death, jail or recovery. "

The social stigma surrounding recovery can be a barrier for those who
might otherwise seek help, Jeremy said. It's easy to forget that
addiction is a disease. He also sees a social divide, wealthier
portions of the population assuming that drugs such as
methamphetamines only affect " those people. "

" If you look at it ' like it's not my side of the fence, it's not my
problem. ' Wait, and it will be, " he said.

Suzy and Jeremy are typical of clients in early recovery, said Tim
Summers, director of development for Decision Point. They spoke with
great zeal about the need for reform.

But that fervor could fade when the two leave the safe walls of the
recovery program and resume their lives. The social and pervasive
nature of meth make it a hard habit to break, Counts said. Suzy's
already been in five other programs, only to start using again when she left.

Success is hard to measure, Counts said. In a recent survey, 63
percent of Decision Point clients were abstinent after the first six
months out of the program.

" Just not using is not the end goal, " he said. " It's a change in
the quality of life, the thinking and the behavior. "

For Suzy and Jeremy, a changed life means a new realization that they
still have worth, even though they've made a few mistakes.

" I used to think I'd never come back from this, " Suzy said. " It
took someone who cared enough to be on my rear and remind me that my
life is worth something. "