SHE SAVED HER SON -- AND THEN HERSELF

Things started going badly in MerriLynn Leslie's life when she was
still in the womb, sharing heroin with her mother.

Back in 1967, when MerriLynn was born at a Burien hospital, neither
the medical staff nor her adoptive parents knew anything about
drug-affected infants. No one understood that she was born
predisposed to alcohol and drug addiction, that her hyperactivity and
inability to sleep through the night might be the result of prenatal
exposure to drugs.

Two years ago, MerriLynn, now 38, gave birth to a son at Swedish
Medical Center. The staff was familiar with the needs of newborn drug
addicts. Unlike his mother, Sam's symptoms were obvious. He trembled
and cried, his wails filling the corridors.

Overcome with shame, MerriLynn, who had been unsuccessful in
treatment numerous times before, was determined this time to succeed.
Sam, she vowed, would not be raised by an undependable, drug-addicted
mother. So MerriLynn started on methadone and for Sam's needs turned
to Childhaven.

Childhaven's Drug-Affected Infant Program gave the baby safe day care
where his development was monitored, he played with other children
and he learned the importance of brushing his teeth, eating the right
foods and wearing a seat belt -- small things, but major parts of
healthy lifestyles that often aren't taught in homes led by parents
whose lives are in chaos.

"I could talk to anybody, any time there," MerriLynn said.

Childhaven

The nonprofit agency is dedicated to the needs of abused and
neglected children from birth to age 5. One of its programs, the
Crisis Nursery, offers a 24-hour hotline and up to 72 hours of
emergency child care for parents needing respite. Childhaven averages
1,500 referral and counseling calls each year to its hotline.

To contact Childhaven's Crisis Nursery, call 206-328-KIDS. For more
information, go to www.childhaven.org.

Childhaven is one of a dozen organizations that receive aid from The
Seattle Times Fund for the Needy, which launches its annual campaign this week.

At Childhaven, MerriLynn took parenting classes and learned not to
repeat the mistakes she made with her two older children, now 14 and 21.

Five days a week for almost two years, the white Childhaven van
picked up Sam at his mother's White Center home and took him to the
Capitol Hill center, where day care wasn't just day care; it was an
exercise in self-esteem building.

From each child's photo on the back of his chair, to the mirrors
placed low enough so children can see themselves when they brush
their teeth, things that may be ordinary for other children are
special to those at Childhaven. Many of the children live in places
where they may witness violence or criminal acts, or suffer neglect.
Some have never even used a car seat or a toothbrush, said Childhaven
spokeswoman Robin Bennett.

MerriLynn was in a methadone program when she heard about Childhaven,
and she asked her drug counselor to refer her. Others are referred to
Childhaven by state child-welfare offices.

Founded in 1909 as the Seattle Day Nursery, Childhaven is a nonprofit
agency devoted to breaking the cycle of child abuse by nurturing
children and training mothers and fathers in new ways of parenting.
Chief among its services is the Crisis Nursery, which parents can
call for emergency help, and the Therapeutic Child Care Program,
where children are given specialized day care designed to provide
some of the nurturing that may be lacking at home.

The Therapeutic Child Care staff provides individualized care and
treatment plans for every family and provides health, dental, vision
and hearing screening for children. All that contact with the
children makes it easier to identify abuse before it gets worse.

Childhaven adviser Dr. Bruce Perry, an internationally renowned
expert on the importance of early intervention, says that a child's
brain is altered not just by physical violence but by living in a
state of fear or neglect. Unless there is intervention, the results
are adults with high rates of divorce, illness, depression and
shortened life expectancy.

Most child-abuse and neglect cases are never reported, said Todd
George, program director at Childhaven. And in many of the cases that
are, little is done for those who aren't facing "imminent harm," the
legal standard for when the state can intervene on behalf of a child.

Drugs Came First

When MerriLynn was an infant, and her adoption was not yet final, her
would-be adopted mother left. Peter Leslie, a Boeing engineer, fought
to adopt her anyway, becoming one of the first single men in the
state allowed to adopt a baby. They lived in White Center, where
MerriLynn was surrounded by doting grandparents and uncles. But
MerriLynn wanted a mother.

When Peter Leslie remarried, he thought he had provided one for her.
But her stepmother was a mother in name only, and MerriLynn said she
became lost among five stepchildren. No longer was she allowed to
visit her grandparents unless all the children came, too -- and there
were too many for that.

By the time MerriLynn was 7, she was an angry little girl, feeling
abandoned by her grandparents and her father, who sought refuge from
his disintegrating marriage by traveling, sometimes for months at a
time. MerriLynn felt unloved and unwanted. She began sneaking sips of
wine from the refrigerator, liking the way it made her feel, and was
quickly addicted.

At 13, she was using drugs, and she dropped out of school after
eighth grade. By 15 she was "a garbage can" of drugs, taking
anything, living in various homes.

Her father, who eventually divorced, despaired and didn't know what
to do. MerriLynn was off drugs long enough to have her first child at
17, went back on drugs, and about seven years later was off drugs
again long enough to have another child.

She was convicted of robbery and burglary -- both crimes committed to
support her heroin habit -- and served time.

MerriLynn had thought she could control the drugs. Instead they took
command of her life, quickly replacing common sense and her
children's needs. Nothing became more important than the next fix.

She is still haunted by the time her oldest child pushed open the
bathroom door one morning and found her shooting heroin.

She continued as her daughter looked at her with disgust, emphasizing
that she was late for school.

A Family At Last

MerriLynn had a twice-a-day heroin habit when Sam was born in the
fall of 2003. He was a beautiful child with lush, dark hair and a
raging desire for heroin, just like she had.

She knew she didn't want to make the mistakes she did with her two
daughters, exposing them to the environment that came with illegal
drugs -- dangerous people and neglect.

Peter Leslie gets tears in his eyes thinking about Sam's drug
withdrawal. First Sam was given morphine, and then slowly was weaned
off it. And every day, MerriLynn would be in the nursery holding her
son, comforting him, feeling lost and guilty.

Shirley Thompson, a former SeaTac mayor who last April married Peter
Leslie, was in the nursery at Swedish, too.

She knew MerriLynn felt abandoned by the three previous mother
figures in her life, leaving a hollowness never filled.

The slender, blond mother of two grown boys stepped in, took
MerriLynn's hand and offered magic words: "I'll never leave you."

The Leslies, who live in Kent, became doting grandparents. When
MerriLynn was ill with withdrawal symptoms, Shirley took Sam,
reassuring MerriLynn, "that's what moms do."

Now, MerriLynn works in sales for a catering company and the Leslies
baby-sit Sam, a hearty, 60-pound 2-year-old, who gives high-fives,
loves his tiny bike and, of course, his grandpa.

"I never thought 'Barney' would be my favorite TV program. But after
'Barney,' it's bath time and HE goes to bed!" Leslie said with a
grin, as Sam stood watching Po the Teletubby on the screen.

The Leslies also have become Childhaven volunteers.

Today, MerriLynn's life is a balancing act between her job and being
mom to not only Sam but her two older daughters. And she's returned
to one of the better memories of her life -- her grandparents' home
in White Center.

MerriLynn lives with her boyfriend, whose children visit often.

Leslie is gratified to see his daughter's progress.

From his porch filled with golden chrysanthemums, he watched
recently as MerriLynn walked alongside Sam. The boy slowly pedaled
his bike, balancing between the training wheels.

With a gentle hand, MerriLynn guided him.