UP IN SMOKE

Robert leads a double life.

Monday through Friday, he commutes to St. Louis. He wears a tie to
work. He is 30 years old, single, and shows up for his job promptly
every day at 9 a.m. For 40 hours every week, he is a fully functional
computer support technician, earning $38,000 per year.

Then comes the weekend. And the weed. Lots of weed. From 7 p.m. on
Friday until the late hours of Sunday night, Robert is a marijuana
addict. He lights up on Friday evenings, as soon as he arrives back at
his house in Collinsville. He usually smokes with friends, though many
times, he gets stoned alone. He stays high for much of the weekend,
watching television, surfing the Internet.

He rarely goes outside, hardly ever speaks with his neighbors. His
house is well kept, and he hides his weed in a shoebox even though he
lives alone.

Robert is real. He is also just one of the estimated 20 million
Americans who smoke on a regular basis, according to the National
Institute on Drug Abuse. He is far from unique.

"I would say there are a lot of us out there," Robert said. "Some
people go out and drink on the weekend; a lot of us decide to stay
home and smoke pot. Who is being safer?"

Most marijuana users are a friendly group, often relaxed and ready to
talk about their habit. Very few users describe it as an addiction.
Most just say they are "lighting up" to have a good time, burning a
joint to get a quick buzz.

Many decided long ago that they didn't like the taste of alcohol, the
feel of a hangover, or the sickness that comes with drinking too much.
According to the users, marijuana has "all the fun with none of the
side effects."

In Edwardsville, Bryce Manning, 37, knows all about the
rationalizations, the excuses, the slow road to what he sees as
marijuana addiction. Scientists, politicians, and pot smokers all
argue whether marijuana can really be addictive. Manning, through
first hand experience, says he knows there are thousands of smokers
who become addicted to pot.

He started smoking when he was 14. Over the next 17 years, he slowly
became addicted to a drug most users consider harmless.

Marijuana Anonymous

In 1989, a group of recovering pot heads and counselors met together
in Van Nuys, Calif., to found the first chapter of Marijuana
Anonymous. The group adopted the 12 steps from the Alcoholics
Anonymous program, using a proven method to help users deal with their
addictions.

The group rapidly grew, spreading out worldwide. By 2005, there were
more than 50 chapters operating in six different countries. The
biggest contribution MA makes is through a "virtual help center,"
running a counseling program through an online chat room at
www.ma-online.org.

Manning found MA when he was in his early 30s, after he started
searching the Internet for information about marijuana addiction. He
attended meetings through an online chat room, worked his way through
the 12 steps, and eventually kicked the habit. He has been sober for
four years and now works as a substance abuse counselor at a company
called Intensive Out-Patient Care in Edwardsville. He also serves as
the host of a Marijuana Anonymous meeting every Friday.

"In a lot of ways, it has been like learning things over again,"
Manning said. "When I needed to cope with stress or pressure or
relationships, I went and smoked weed. Now I have to retrain myself,
have to find more healthy ways to deal with life."

When Manning was in his 20s, he led a double life. Like many users, he
led a double life, working a white-collar job Monday through Friday,
then getting high and staying that way for an entire weekend.

By the time he was 27, his addiction led him to other drugs, including
cocaine, he said. He eventually started committing crimes to pay for
his cocaine addiction, lost his job, and moved to St. Louis.

"It's not a good story, but it's the truth," Manning said. "You think
I would have figured things out after that, but I didn't."

Manning found work in the computer industry, and within a few months,
went back to smoking pot. He started doing methamphetamine, but found
that it was too poisonous and caused too many problems. He again went
back to using marijuana, this time on a daily basis.

"No matter what happened, I always went back to marijuana," Manning
said.

By the time he was 30, Manning was trying to quit smoking. Like all
drug users, he went through the symptoms of withdrawal. He had rough
nights, cold sweats, had trouble eating and sleeping. His girlfriend
tried to help him quit, but he always seemed to have a relapse. At one
point, he decided to throw his last bag of weed out the window while
driving down the interstate.

"That was such a good feeling, felt like that was going to be the end
of my addiction," Manning said.

It wasn't. Within a few weeks, he was back to using. When he finally
found MA, he was amazed at how many people shared his story. He spent
nearly every available minute of his day in the chat rooms on the MA
Web site, getting past his addiction, one sentence at a time.

Online Help

Inside the chat rooms at the MA Web site, the stories unfold in
agonizing fashion. Anonymous users, all using various screen names,
type in one sentence after another. Entire lives are summarized in a
few minutes, after dozens of brutal details slowly scroll by on the
screen.

The other online users just listen; it is against the chat room rules
to interrupt an addict who is sharing his tale of marijuana addiction.
Many addicts started using as a result of physical cruelty by a family
member. Others got into the habit as a way of dealing with sexual
abuse or exploitation.

Some pot heads just experimented with weed in high school, and then
found they couldn't stop. Everyone has a story to tell.

Online meetings seem unusual at first. The chat rooms are open 24
hours a day, 365 days a year, and at any time, a dozen users can
usually be found talking in the rooms. Starting at noon, Pacific Time,
an official MA meeting is held. A moderator, usually a recovering
addict, types in pre-formatted text to let the users know the rules
and demands of the MA program.

Sometimes, meetings will cover a certain topic of addiction, perhaps
how to deal with the symptoms of withdrawal. More commonly, the
meetings are open for sharing. Users who want to speak type in an
exclamation mark, are then recognized by the moderator, and then start
typing away.

Dave of St. Louis has served as a moderator for hundreds of the online
meetings. He smoked for more than 20 years, but managed to quit with
the help of MA. As a moderator, he has heard thousands of users share
their stories.

"They are all so similar, it's amazing," Dave said. "There are certain
people out there who are going to smoke pot and get addicted to it.
It's a sad reality, but it's something we need to recognize."

Even after nearly two years of not using, Dave still spends hours at a
time inside the chat rooms, helping other recovering addicts. He also
attends MA land meetings, making the trek into Edwardsville every
Friday to meet Manning and the other recovering addicts.

Land Meetings

The MA land meetings are few and far between. Manning started one in
St. Louis, placing an ad in a local paper. He received a huge
response. Only a handful of addicts had even heard of MA. When Dave
first saw the ad, he thought it was a joke.

"Honestly, I figured it was some pot head either trying to score weed
or sell some weed," Dave said.

But Dave called, got the help he needed, and found answers at MA. He
is one of only a handful of recovering addicts who is able to
regularly attend land meetings.

"Most people, depending where they live, the nearest meeting might be
300 miles away," Dave said. "That's tough. I'm one of the lucky ones
that does have a land meeting I can go to."

For residents in this area, Manning holds the MA meeting every Friday
at 7 p.m. inside of a small office at 156 N. Main Street, Suite 202.
The group is still small, usually less than a half dozen addicts. He
is hoping to get the word out that help is available.

"There's such a stigma with marijuana addiction, with people not
recognizing that it can be addictive or harmful," Manning said. "We
can help turn things around."

The land meetings are informal. No appointments or phone calls or
necessary; Manning welcomes anyone who shows up. The only requirement
for attending the meeting is a desire to quit using marijuana.

He usually starts each meeting with a short introduction to the MA
program, a description of the 12 steps, and a short version of his own
struggles with marijuana. Others can share their stories if they wish.
Manning never pressures anyone to speak.

"When people are ready to tell their stories, we're here to listen,"
Manning said.

There is a wide diversity in those meetings, with more and more
younger individuals trying to escape from a lifetime of pot addiction.
The addicted pot smokers all find MA at different times in their
lives, though they all share many of the same tales of addiction.

"It's like with any other drug addiction, you end up facing a road
into hell," Manning said. "Marijuana is a slow road to hell, but
eventually, you'll find yourself there."