STAYING ON THE RIGHT PATH

Increased Freedom And Choices Can Lead To Criminal Lifestyle

Jay Fewkes was just 13 when he smoked marijuana for the first time.
He was trying to impress an older crowd, trying to "be the cool kid
who fit in," he says.

His decision soon led him down a disastrous path. Marijuana took a
back seat to other, more addictive drugs like mushrooms, acid and
crystal methamphetamine.

Although the Baden teen had a factory job at the time, Fewkes soon
found himself selling drugs so he could afford his new lifestyle.

"It became my personality, my image," he says.

He was the cool guy, the party guy. The tough, don't mess with me kind of guy.

Now, at 27, Fewkes is clean and reflective. He says it was a
combination of fitting in with a certain crowd and boredom that led
to his wrong choices.

Experts agree that these are two common factors that can turn a well
behaved child toward a criminal lifestyle.

Waterloo regional police Staff Sgt. Daryl Goetz said it's important
for parents to keep their children active and involved in sports or
social clubs.

"If they don't have anything to do, they'll create their own
excitement," he said.

The critical "crossover" age for children is from age 11 to 16 when,
Goetz says, kids switch from grade school to high school and when
they find themselves with more freedom and choices.

"They are forming who they are and they are more accessible to peer
pressure," he said.

At this age, kids typically look for support and a place to fit in
and, if they can't find it in the right place, they are easily
swayed. They could end up joining a gang or taking part in criminal
activity, he said.

"They should be fitting into a hockey team or a soccer club but if
left to their own devices they'll create their own (group)," he said.

"Kids want to belong . . . so if they see there's an opportunity to
belong to a group where they'll get support they'll gravitate to it."

And once they do this, he said, "it's very hard to pull them back."

Parents need to be aware of what their child is doing and who they
are doing it with, he said.

"Family support at home is key," he said.

Maureen Murphy, senior co-ordinator for the youth program at the
John Howard Society of Waterloo Wellington, agreed and said
inconsistency is one of the biggest factors that can lead a child to
turn to criminal behaviour.

For instance, she said, parents have to be consistent on rules and
on what they expect from their children. If you set a curfew one
night, stick to it for future nights, she said.

Consistency shows that children can rely on their parents and
teaches them values. It also shows that you are going to stand by
what you say, she said.

While some believe children from lower income families are more
prone to commit crime, Murphy said that's not always true.

"If there's a utopia for children it's one person that loved them," she said.

If your child does find himself in trouble with the law, Murphy said
it's important that you stand by him.

She advises that you talk to your children and ask why they did it.
Was it because of the friends they're hanging out with? Were they
bored? Did they want to impress someone?

If children have to attend court, Murphy said parents should always
go with them.

"It shows that they have somebody they can count on," she said.

To prevent children from turning to crime, Murphy said it's
important that parents get them involved in community events, sports
teams or groups at an early age. Parents should also get to know
their child's friends and invite them into the home.

The Alliance for Children and Youth of Waterloo Region refer to a
list of developmental assets or positive qualities that can help
children as they grow up.

These assets, which were first developed by the Search Institute in
Minnesota, are divided into external and internal assets.

External assets are ones children get from outside sources such as
friends, school and community organizations. They include such
things as support -- either from the family, school or other adults
- -- which children need to feel loved, appreciated and cared for.

It also includes the importance of empowerment -- allowing children
to feel valued, safe and respected, and the importance of setting
boundaries and expectations so children can have clear rules and
consistent consequences.

It also includes the formation of a constructive use of time, where
young people are given opportunities outside of school to develop
new skills and interests.

Internal assets focus on the values that children learn throughout
their lives and internalize as they grow up such as a commitment to
learning and the development of a positive identity and self-worth.

Creating positive values, where children develop strong guiding
principles that help them make healthy choices and social
competencies, where children learn skills that allow them to
interact with others and to cope with new situations, is also listed
under the internal asset category.

Karen Spencer, senior manager for Family and Children's Services of
Waterloo Region, said the more assets a child has while growing up,
the less likely they are to be involved in drugs, alcohol or violence.

Alision Scott, director of client services for Family and Children's
Services of Waterloo Region, said whether it's the parents or
someone else in the community, like a bus driver or a teacher,
getting positive support from someone is especially important in the
overall growth of a child.

In this way, both the parents and the community have a role to play
in the life of a child.

As Goetz says, "sometimes it takes a community to raise a child."

"The more connected your community is, the more attached kids are to
it," Goetz said.

Events such as community barbecues or organizations like
Neighbourhood Watch can all help bring a community together, he said.

Fewkes agrees and said parents and the community need to find ways
to offer children activities that will keep them busy.

He said he and his friends were so bored growing up in a small town
that they would sit at the park at night, drinking and doing drugs.
If more activities were available, the less likely kids are to look
for their own entertainment.

Fewkes, who now works in construction, said he'd likely still be
doing drugs if not for a car accident three years ago that sent him
to hospital and forced him to withdraw.

He's still paying back thousands of dollars he borrowed and mending
relationships that were broken while he was on drugs.

"It's not a good way to live," he says.

He now speaks to students about his life of drugs and the decisions
he made that forced him down a road he hopes nobody else will travel.

"I never tell a kid not to do drugs because they won't listen to
me," he said. "I just tell them my story."