TEAMUP BRINGS ABUSE PREVENTION EXPERT TO TOWN

As the generation gap between parent and child continues to stretch
beyond recognition, many parents begin to view their own children as
strangers and are unsure how to open up the lines of communication
with out sounding like the enemy. Tuesday, Feb. 28, TeamUp Inc. of
Marblehead will present "Understanding the Teenage Brain: A
Discussion on Drug and Alcohol Use, Risky Behaviors and
Prevention Strategies," a program featuring consultant, teacher,
coach and former director of the Training Institute of Narcotic and
Drug Research Inc. Michael Nerney. The program will run from 7-9
p.m. in the Performing Arts Center of the Marblehead Veterans Middle School.

During the presentation, which is geared for an adult audience,
Nerney will provide extensive, concrete evidence of the effects of
alcohol and drug use on an adolescent brain, as well proactive steps
towards building a strong line of communication between parent and
teen. Nerney is also speaking in Swampscott the following day.

In both March and May, Nerney will come back to speak directly to
several adolescent groups,50 students at a time in both Marblehead
and Swampcott middle and high schools, along with hosting a pre-prom
seminar at the high school level. Nerney will also hold special
professional development programs with teachers and faculty over the
next few months.

In Massachusetts, 28 percent of children 13 and under have had a
drink, and 12 percent have used marijuana. With the percentages
constantly rising, Joyce Alla, marketing chairwoman of TeamUp, which
is sponsoring Nerney's appearance in Marblehead, says more needs to
be done. "The 'just say no' slogan doesn't work anymore," Alla said.
"As parents we really need to work on opening the lines of
communication." TeamUp President Susan Hauck added. "We need to
increase awareness of the effects of drugs and alcohol as well as
promote the tactic of early education." Swampscott guidance
counselor Reardon said seeing Nerney last year in Marblehead was
the motivation for bringing him to Swampscott, thanks to a grant
from the local educational support organization, SUCCESS. For many
parents, the thought of talking to their elementary and middle
school aged children doesn't seem necessary, but TeamUp advocates
feel the sooner the better.

"It's better to be talking to your children all along than when it's
too late," said Elizabeth Moore, principal of Marblehead Veterans
Middle School. "Parents should just cater their talks to the
different age levels their children are at."

Moore, who has attended presentations by Nerney in the past, thinks
children relate to the research Nerney brings to the table, and that
they like to have evidence that they can hold in the palm of their
hands. "Children like to see concrete evidence showing them what
definitively what can happen to them if they do something," Moore
said. "Last year [Nerney] showed parents and teachers research he
had done on the brain, showing that as they enter adolescence their
forebrain is not as developed and they become impulsive."

In terms of when to talk with your children, Steve McFadden,
guidance counselor at the Village School, also in Marblehead, has
also adopted a sooner rather than later view on the situation.

"Though a lot of parents may think how does this relate to my young
child, they have to realize that these issues come up quicker than
you think and it is always best to be prepared," McFadden said.

Local counselor Larry Robinson says the main thing most parents need
to learn is how not to talk down to their children as if they know
everything, yet instead create an equal playing field where the kids
feel that they can talk to their parents rather than fight with
them. Part of his own method in his Lynn office is making
his clients feel comfortable from the moment they step over the
threshold, whether it be from the soothing smell of incense of the
Native American pictures and artifacts placed around the waiting
room. "Children need to gain your trust, otherwise if you criticize
them from A to Z they are not going to listen to anything you have
to say," Robinson said. "Kids at this age are angry because they
have to be. Their parents are no longer their friends and they are
now responsible for making adult decisions." Robinson says a lot of
the problem is that middle schoolers see what their older siblings
are doing and figuring that this what is "cool," creating a
tremendous amount of pressure to be just that.

"We need to work toward changing what defines 'cool'," Robinson
said. "If we accepted kids more for who they are then they would be
better at deciding what 'cool' actually is."

Currently one of the more effective programs in place is the
athletic department's social contract which was brought in by
director Michael Plansky. Since putting the contracts in place,
Plansky says they have only had to in force the policy once this year.

"We bring the responsibility to the kids by making them form their
own social contracts saying here's what they want to do and if we
want our team to succeed we all need to follow by these rules,"
Plansky says. "The students are in charge of assigning penalties
unanimously so that everyone is on the same page and they can look
out for each other."

Plansky added, "The goal is to have the students looking out for
each other and learning together how to be responsible. Our hope is
that if they are out and see someone breaking the rules they will
say 'hey, that's in our contract and you shouldn't be doing that'."

Swampscott High School has a similar student teaching student method
known as SADD, an organization of Students Against Destructive
Decisions. "We are an active chapter and two of our high school
students are on the board," Reardon said. "We do presentations every
year that are funded through a SUCCESS, Inc. grant and this year we
are going to mirror what Marblehead did last year by having 50
students at a time work with Nerney." "Many parents are trying so
hard to be there child's best friend, but as parents that is not what
we signed up for," said Marblehead Police Detective Sgt. Marion
Keating. "Parents should create an information exchange where they
have all the cell phone numbers and email addresses so that at any
point in time they are able to get in touch with their child."
Keating added, "Parents are now having to talk to their children
about subjects they never thought they would have to before. For
example, what should your child do if they are babysitting and the
parents come home drunk and are going to drive them home? These are
things that we don't think of but need to because they happen."

Judy Luise, adjustment counselor at Marblehead High School, suggests
teaching children how to act in advance, trying to advert problems
rather than deal with the consequences.

"We try and teach them in a non-judgmental environment how to react
rather then reflect after the fact," Luise said.

According to Jim Ryan, director of Northeast Center for Healthy
Communities, several surrounding communities have taken the
initiative to effectively attack the problem.

"Hamilton-Wenham is currently collecting data to develop strategies,
and Lynn has a whole study done up on risk factors along with
protective factors and building strong neighborhoods," Ryan said.
"Many communities are forming coalitions trying to get parents
engaged in the issue and building communication so they can be
mentors in the situation."

"No parent can fully protect their child," said Moore. "What they
can do is continue the conversation. It can be as simple as asking
you kids how they feel after you both witness a character in a
television show doing something wrong. As parents we should always
be talking."

JUST THE FACTS What: TeamUp lecture on drug and alcohol awareness
and prevention, featuring former Director of the Training Institute
of Narcotic and Drug Research, Michael Nerney, now working with
Partners in Prevention. Not recommended for student attendance.

When: Tuesday, Feb. 28, 7-8:30 p.m. Where: Marblehead Veterans
Middle School Performing Arts Center