RANDOM DRUG TESTING FUTILE

With due respect to Attleboro police Chief Kyle Heagney, what he's
got is a stealing problem, not a drug abuse problem. And the random
drug testing he wants because somebody stole drugs from his evidence
room will fix absolutely nothing.

But it will cost his town plenty of money. Police unions don't agree
to treat members like criminals without hefty quid pro quos. Why
should they? It'll waste lots of time: The drugs we fear most --
heroin, cocaine, methamphetamine -- are out of your system in a few
days, or hours. So is alcohol. But marijuana is detectable for a
month. How is public safety aided when tests typically miss dangerous
drugs yet detect marijuana smoked 30 days before?

All these random drug test cheerleaders might do a little reading.
Start with LEAP: Law Enforcement Against Prohibition. They're an
increasingly influential group of current and retired cops, state
troopers, federal marshals, drug agents, prosecutors, judges and
prison guards who've seen firsthand the futility of our drug laws.

Karen Hawkes, for 13 years a Massachusetts state trooper and now a
member of LEAP, had to retire after a 2005 stroke. Now a Girl Scout
leader, Sunday school teacher and single mother, she briefly enjoyed
relief from nighttime pain with so-called medical marijuana. But
since that's illegal even for the terminally ill, "I stopped," she
said yesterday. "I had so much anxiety. I was afraid I could lose my
kids, my pension, everything just because I was trying to relieve
terrible pain."

However, we have no problem legally prescribing OxyContin, one of the
most dangerous drugs on Earth and one that's ruined countless lives.

Jack Cole, a retired detective lieutenant with the New Jersey State
Police and a longtime undercover narcotics officer, contrasts the
treatment of on-the-job alcoholics -- sent repeatedly to rehab, which
is covered by insurance -- and one longtime terrific trooper who
tested positive, once, for marijuana. It's possible he ingested it
weeks before on a vacation to Amsterdam, where marijuana is legal. No
matter, said Cole, "I never saw him again."

LEAP's executive director is Neill Franklin, a 34-year law
enforcement veteran of the Maryland State Police and Baltimore
police. He's all for testing when there's "reasonable suspicion" that
someone's high or intoxicated on the job. But he made a fantastic
point yesterday about random tests. The message sent even to your
finest officers is: "We don't trust you."

This is insanity and stupidity writ large, you know. Yet foolish us
- -- we put up with it.