CHEECH & CHONG'S MARIJUANA LAW

FLINT - The problem with Michigan's well-intentioned medical marijuana
law, which affects more than 99,000 people, is that it's so vaguely
written it's like an out-take from a "Cheech & Chong" movie.

Cheech: "So, dude, we gotta write a bill."

Chong: "A what?"

Cheech: "A bill, dude."

Chong: "I know that guy! He owes me money!"

Cheech: "No, a bill is like a baby law before it grows up. We gotta
write one for Michigan. They wanna legalize pot for sick people."

Chong: "Right on!"

Cheech: "Only we gotta make sure that we don't upset The Man "

Chong: "I hate The Man! uh, by the way, who is The Man? I've never
really been sure."

Cheech: "I dunno but whoever he is he's totally not a fan of our
patron saint, Jeff Spicoli."

Chong: "Hallowed be his name!"

Cheech: "Right on, so if we're not careful in how we write this thing
then The Man will convince people to not vote for it."

Chong: "Like, boooo!"

Cheech: "Totally, right? So what we gotta do is write the bill so
it's not clear whether people can buy it or not."

Chong: "Right on! wait, if they can't buy it, where are people going
to get a stash?"

Cheech: "Dude, chill. I got that covered. They can grow their own!"

Chong: "Awesome! er, wait. But what if "

Cheech: "What if what, dude?"

Chong: "Huh?"

Cheech: "What if what? You didn't finish your sentence."

Chong: "Oh, right, I blanked out there. So what about people who are
too sick or poor to grow their own? Grow lights are expensive, dude,
you know that. They suck a lotta power."

Cheech: "See, that's the beauty of making things fuzzy. If we write
this thing bad enough people won't be able to tell for sure if they
can or can't buy pot at a store, so naturally stores will pop up all
over the place to sell it until someone tells them not to."

Chong: "Righteous!"

Cheech: "I know, right!"

The problem, of course, is that someone has indeed now told grow shops
not to sell pot. Last week the Michigan Court of Appeals ruled that a
"dispensary" in Mt. Pleasant had no authority to sell it under the
medical marijuana law because the law didn't expressly allow it to do
so.

Result: Dispensaries all over the state closed pending clarification,
which may not seem like a big deal to you, but then you don't have
stomach cancer, Parkinson's or glaucoma.

Imagine being sick and one of the few substances that gives you relief
is now suddenly, once again, difficult to get. What are you going to
do?

Well, obviously, you're going to go without. (So much for compassion,
eh, voters?) Or you're going to go back to whatever illicit source you
used prior to the 2008 vote that created the medical marijuana law in
the first place.

Is that really what we want - sick people hurting or once again at the
mercy of dealers? If you answer yes, here's what I want to know:

What have you been smoking, dude?