HAVING THE BIG DRUG TALK WITH TEENS

There's no planning for an event like Grandma's Big Talk On Drugs, but
I've been waiting for the opportunity for a while now as my oldest
grandchildren close in on the teen years.

The chance came on Monday, while I was driving four of my five
grandsons home to the Comox Valley after a couple of weeks of Island
travel and camping.

The oldest two are 11 and 12, and well familiar with kids not much
older than them using alcohol and illegal drugs. I knew there'd be a
moment one day soon when I could jump in with a word or two on the
subject.

I don't know how it came up - not at my behest, that's for sure,
because the only hope you've got of getting fledgling adolescents to
hear you is if you wait for them to bring something up. At any rate,
one of the boys said something about drug use, and all of a sudden the
door opened.

As was the case when I was their age, my two oldest grandsons are
surrounded by people who drink and use illegal drugs. I was 13 when I
smoked my first joint, introduced to it by a school pal whose older
brother was a teenage science whiz cranking out acid for eager buyers.

I'd already started drinking to get drunk by that point, which I would
continue with great enthusiasm for the next three years. I know my
mother will be deeply embarrassed that I'm admitting such a thing, but
Mom, it's not your fault. I just came of age in the 1970s.

My grandsons' generation has had the added impact of being completely
immersed in cultural references to drug use, from TV shows to movies
to websites like YouTube. This is the generation that can check out
photos of their dopey older cousin with a joint in his mouth just by
clicking on his Facebook site. No kid today grows up in a vacuum about
drugs.

So I figure the options are to either have a frank conversation to
prepare kids for those intense teen years, or assume responsibility
for sending the poor little sods into high-risk territory without a
lick of sense to fall back on.

I have fairly vivid memories of being that kid, teenage drug use being
something that my parents' generation simply hadn't considered much.

In the end, nothing too bad happened to me. But that was sheer
luck.

I always wanted better for my own kids and grandkids - and yours. But
I fear that in the 40 years since my generation was being scared with
badacid movies in guidance class, "just say no" still prevails as the
central message to young people. It remains an important message, of
course, but hardly the only one.

Years ago a young relative of mine, in Grade 6 at the time, pinned a
"Just Say No" poster from a school presentation to his bedroom door,
declaring with conviction that he would never use drugs. It hung there
for years, through the earnest times and on into irony.

Like me, and maybe you, he has grown into a good and responsible
person despite having used drugs as a teen. Most people do. Would it
kill us to mention that to our kids once in a while?

My grandsons wanted to know if it was true that crack and crystal meth
were addictive after just one use, and whether I agreed that heroin
was the worst drug of all. I parsed that first answer carefully,
wanting to stress what rotten drugs crack and crystal meth are without
portraying them as instant tickets to doom.

Heroin - well, that took a little longer, and gave me the chance to
talk about the drug with the most catastrophic potential, alcohol.
"Alcohol is a drug?" asked the 11-year-old with much surprise.

As for marijuana, what's left to say? It's not a harmless drug, but
most B.C. kids over the age of five could probably name that scent,
what with so many of their parents and grandparents still smoking the
stuff. I settled for telling the boys that some studies have found
chronic, heavy marijuana use during adolescence is detrimental to
brain function.

I doubt they'll retain much of our talk, but I hope they got my point
about making informed choices should it come to that.

Kids, just say know.