U.S.-STYLE LAWS AREN'T THE ANSWER TO U.S.-STYLE GANGS

It would be nice to think that federal ministers keep up to speed on
the news. It would be particularly good to know that ministers keep
themselves informed about events related to their ministries. That
way, if there were -- oh, I don't know -- a horrific slaughter of
outlaw bikers, the justice minister would know at least as much about
it as dear Aunt Beatrice who always watches Peter Mansbridge before
bed, bless her.

But I have to wonder about Vic Toews. Granted the new justice
minister is busy. His government has big plans on the justice file.
Re-modelling Canada's criminal justice system along the lines of the
brutal, unjust, ineffective, socially corrosive and fantastically
expensive criminal justice systems in the United States is a lot of work.

Still, he really should look at a newspaper now and then.

On Wednesday, Mr. Toews gave a speech at the University of Western
Ontario in London outlining how his government will put a stop to the
unacceptable fact that Canada is one of the safest countries on the planet.

It was the usual Conservative spiel. Tougher sentences. More cops.
Stepping up the war on drugs. Pretty much all the wonderful ideas
that helped give the U.S. a homicide rate almost three times higher
than Canada's, a prison population bigger than China's, and an
incarceration rate higher than Russia's.

Mr. Toews also talked about organized crime. We have a problem, he
said. It's hard to disagree given that Mr. Toews was speaking just a
short drive from the spot where a farmer discovered eight bikers with
severe lead poisoning.

But then he said something a little odd.

We need a national organized crime strategy, he said, including laws
modelled after American anti-gang legislation. Mr. Toews is
particularly fond of the "RICO" law passed in 1970 by Richard Nixon
to win the war on drugs and crime.

That much I understand. Who wouldn't be impressed with the way
Richard Nixon turned the U.S. into a peaceful, drug-free country?
It's something else I don't get.

It starts with the affiliation of the bikers who bought, and were
deposited on, the farm.

They were Bandidos. Everyone who pays attention to the news knows
that. The killings got so much coverage even Aunt Bea could describe
the gang's patch. Yes, it's a little guy with a sombrero.

Another thing Aunt Bea knows is that the Bandidos aren't from Canada.
The sombrero kind of gives that away. So does the name, which isn't
in either official language.

"Bandido" is Spanish. That's a rather strong hint that the Bandidos
come from somewhere well south of the 49th parallel. Where might that
be? I won't keep the reader in suspense because the very fact that
you're reading this newspaper means you already know that the home of
the Bandidos outlaw motorcycle gang is the great state of Texas.

Yes, Texas. Or, as it says on envelopes mailed to Texas: "Texas, U.S.A."

Another little fact that newspaper readers know is that the gang's
presence in Canada is slight. Reports vary but it's pretty clear that
even before the massacre, the Bandidos would have struggled to put
together all three lines of a hockey team.

In the United States, the Bandidos could fill every roster in the
NHL, run the ticket offices and drive the Zambonis. In Texas, they
may outnumber armadillos.

Interestingly, another thing Texas has a lot of is prisoners. State
and county lock-ups alone -- leaving out federal pens -- hold almost
170,000 people. That's slightly more than the total prison
populations of Germany, France, Belgium, Holland, Austria, and
Switzerland combined.

There's a reason why nobody ever said the Texas criminal justice
system is soft.

So, now, let's imagine you are the justice minister. You are about to
give a speech not far from where one of the most horrible organized
crime massacres in Canadian history has just been discovered. And
let's say you know the accused and the corpses are linked to the
Bandidos. And let's say you know that the Bandidos are an outlaw
motorcycle gang from Texas. And let's say you know that while the
Bandidos are close to extinct in this country, they are a thriving
species in the U.S.

Will you now tell your audience that the solution to organized crime
in Canada is to adopt American laws which have worked wonders in the U.S.?

No, you wouldn't. Why? Because you are not an idiot, that's why.

It so happens that I do not think that Vic Toews is an idiot, either.
It thus follows logically that he must be unaware of these facts.

But to be unaware of these facts, he must not follow the news.

And that's not good. Please, will somebody buy the minister a
newspaper subscription?