Straight Talk

SHOULD PARENTS DRUG TEST THEIR TEENS?

Dear Straight Talk: Lauren, I am curious if you had ever tackled the
subject of home drug testing. A lot of parents can't imagine their
teens are using drugs, but the sad fact is, many use right under
their noses. Some teens use marijuana while others raid the medicine
cabinets for a high (sometimes at Gramma and Grampa's house). Some
parents look away preferring not to know, others believe it's a
complete invasion of privacy to drug test their teen. I wonder what
the young people who contribute to your column think. -- Jeffrey
Soto, TeenSaver Diagnostics, Irvine

Katelyn, 16, Huntington Beach: Before parents force their teen into a
drug test, they need evidence of drug use. Have medicines been found
on low reserve or missing? Is the teen's behavior different? Does
he/she keep more secrets than usual? Are there physical symptoms
(drowsiness, bloodshot eyes, decaying teeth, etc.)? Who is the teen
hanging out with? Have they switched friends? With cause, testing by
parents is not an invasion of privacy.

Maureen, 18, Redding: Drug testing is overbearing if there's no sign
of drug use. But if you have suspicions or have caught someone, it is
a great way to help keep him or her on track. It's very important,
though, to address the reason a kid is using drugs. You can't drug
test forever, and, at 18, you lose your power. A rehab counselor can
get to the bottom of the problem so your kid will stay on track for himself.

Gregg, 19, Sacramento: I got addicted to marijuana at 15 and it had a
very negative effect on me. The high altered my personality making me
socially awkward, physically tired, mentally slow and very unhappy.
My friends shunned me, my grades dropped. I started hanging out with
"drug friends" who were only there because of pot. My parents helped
me recover by putting me in outpatient rehab. My friends helped by
not wanting to hang out with me when I was high (which really made a
statement).

As part of rehab, my parents tested me regularly and randomly. I
liked it. It made me feel honest because I could prove I was clean
when my word was debatable. It also provided an excuse from using
drugs when they were offered. When friends asked how long I'd been
clean I knew the actual date, and being tested, they believed me
more. Also, my parents began trusting me again. Testing clean ensured
them the rehab counseling was working and they congratulated me each
time I passed (I definitely fell off the wagon at first). Honestly, I
loved being tested by my parents and was thankful to start college
clean. I'm back to how I used to be, feeling great each day.

Dear Jeffrey: The feedback here is pretty standard among young people
and I agree that for cause, drug testing is a good idea.

Many parents project the negative mood toward drug testing that was
prevalent in their youth, but most Millennial Generation kids don't
think that way. Drugs are the "invasion of privacy," not parents.
Drug use starts younger today and the drugs are stronger. Kids get
lost much easier and sincerely want and need help getting back to how
they used to be. If parents don't help, who will?

Parents: Most drug test kits and breathalyzers aren't cheap, but
they're worth it. (Beware of borrowed urine -- search the Internet
for "cheating a drug test" to detect other tricks.) I also can't
recommend outpatient rehab enough to heal the source of the addictive
tendency -- even for "just alcohol" or "just pot."

Rehab isn't stigmatized by today's youth. I found it surprising, too,
but many kids really like rehab and the freedom from addiction they
receive can stick with them for life.

It's amazing, but I'd say 90 percent of today's teens support drug
testing if there is cause. Nobody wants to lose their freedom to
drugs and kids today tend to love their parents. It's a new
generation with new kids and new parents - most parents just don't
realize it. They're stuck in their own generational attitudes and
don't see that kids today want help with drugs.

I sound like a broken record, but drugs are more serious today than
in the "heyday" of the '60s, '70s and '80s. Pot is 10-25 times
stronger today, there are countless more pharmaceuticals in
everyone's bathrooms, and meth, both unbelievably addictive and
destructive, was on nobody's radar. It was like kindergarten back
then -- plus the average kid was over 17 when they started using
drugs, versus the average age of 14 today. The brain is significantly
more developed in just these three years.

I urge all parents to review the video tapes and books by Jon Daily.
I really like his model of healing the "relationship to intoxication"
that is the core of the addictive tendency. If you need to seek out
an outpatient rehab clinic (or inpatient for more severe cases), his
materials will give you a sense of what to look for and what
questions to ask. His Web site is www.recoveryhappens.com . -- Lauren

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963 Fair Oaks, 95628.