HOW I LEARNED TO STOP HATING AND LOVE GANJA

Today's column is the last that I write as a student here at the
University of Casual Sex & Beer, so I will babble in the form of a
Life Thesis. In brief, I will articulate and defend what I call 'The
Unalienable Human Right to Direct Access to the Natural Environment.'
By virtue of the Law of Reality [that man will do what he can to
survive], the Fact of Reality [the right to survive is not granted by
state authority on any level], the Fact of History [drug plant
species were domesticated by the human species before food crops],
the Turn of Time [laws and rules reflect humanity's values at a
specific point in time], and the River of Fate [in order to fulfill
his potential man must have all freedoms, including liberty to
destroy himself in the course of exploratory innovation]. I believe
that all great poets, saints, philosophers, doctors, innovators and
happy human beings have at one point or other shared some variant of
this philosophy.

Homo sapiens and Cannabis sativa were childhood play-mates. They've
been pretty close buddies playing the louis life ever since.

Unlike drugs that manipulate the pleasure-molecules within the brain,
the cannabinoids in marijuana have their own pre-set neuron receptor.
Most drugs crash the brain; but each human is designed to smoke
cannabis. While the negative health effects of manipulator drugs are
essentially indisputable, cannabinoids within marijuana have been
found to reduce blood pressure, soothe pain and densify bone mass.
Does marijuana sound like poison to you?

Marijuana does not kill brain cells.

I'm surprised by the great number of people, even stoners, who still
think that it does. The only 'scientific' study that indicates
cannabis does kill brain cells relied on a method that supplied more
smoke to the environment of their test mice than (most) humans are
able to conceive without technical assistance from an Afghani torture
team. The mice lost their brain cells because they were suffocating
from lack of oxygen trapped in a box, not because they were "high".
I'm not sure who runs such laboratories, but I presume Karma will
fuck them in the afterlife. Google it; search the Web until your life
makes sense. Then write me a rebuttal to this Life Thesis and e-mail it to me.

Life cannot exist without Freedom - willful acts to restrict Human
Freedom inevitably degrade the quality of life. God's Law and Natural
Law are one law: man will do what he can. No force can truly divide
life, all division is an optical illusion created by the bias of your
existence. As an example, no force can divide plant from animal -
every animal exists as a consequence of the co-presence of plant
life, just as plant life exists as a result of the co-presence of
microscopic life. To interrupt the chain of life that connects humans
to plants is a radical denial of the mechanism that makes life
possible. A current piece of legislation in the U.S. Congress right
now, Senate Bill 510, the Food Safety Modernization Act is a threat
to life. Today, California keeps its cannabis illegal because of the
'vague wording' of Proposition 19. Under U.S. Senator Richard "Dick"
Durbin's Rules:

1. All American farms and all food will be subject to control by the
U.S. Departments of Homeland Security and Defense in event of a
vaguely-worded "emergency".

2. Any food produced or purchased on U.S. soil can be defined as
"smuggling" under this legal framework.

3. The natural human right to clean, store and thus own plant seed in
America would be taken away, putting control of plant seeds into the
control of corporations such as Monsanto.

The Monsanto Corporation has a tactic similar to a heroin dealer the
hallmark of its trade is artificial stimulation and addiction. Its
product strategy relies on a tactic that kills all aspects of life
that have not been artificially manipulated by it. Its product is
either chemically toxic or induces sexual sterility, inevitably
resulting in the destructive addiction of its constituent consumers.
Its signature product can kill a human being in milligram dosages. It
does not recognize the idea that life can sustain and improve itself;
it regards toxic and artificial stimulation as a necessary and
desirable influence.

Legal restrictions on both hemp and cannabis are only a bit less
tyrannical than the idea of America's food supply being controlled by
the Department of Homeland Security. Life's design should not be
outsourced to Monsanto.

If the natural right of each American to cultivate his land is taken
away, it will effectively kill the American economy.

The Food Safety Bullshit Act would hand our human right to life over
to corporations with no loyalty to the American people.

The best they could do is to persuade each of the 50 United States of
America through a 10th Amendment argument.

This is fascist bullshit.

They think we're that stupid. Please don't let them be right.

Understanding life as it is requires humility.

If we don't respect the idea of consistent reality, then our beliefs
are only a matter of comfort. A "soft" type of mindset accepts
fantasy as real, and no amount of logic can assuage willful ignorance.

A "hard" mind doesn't accept the soft think-paradigm. The hard mind
is not able to accept a belief as if it is reality simply because it
is comfortable. The advice of reason and intuition is primary; the
body's physical comfort is secondary.

I doubt that any surviving organism was ever proud of a soft mindset.

A wild island castle party of fulfilled dreams and sexual fantasies
await ye who can handle the revelations of the shaman's tools.

As you approach the castle, you will enjoy gazing through the mist at
the sheer magnificent glory of the place in all its shimmering
detail. Finally, at the edge of the forest of lies, walking through
of a field of flowers (cannabis) you will witness your own royal
coronation, as you rise to join the dance of serene, ecstatic joy
nipping the tips of the top tower, firing fireworks through the
turrets at birds that are immortal.

You know all those things you wish to do before you die? A person who
has taken any of the natural drugs has probably done a lot of them
already. Ask a person who has taken LSD, magic mushrooms or DMT about
their philosophy of life. I bet that the word you use to label it
afterward is not "hostile." Even if they would fail a CPA
certification or be unfit for military service, their attitude is
likely more easygoing and striving to focus on the enjoyment of life.
There are many whiners in life; somebody needs to show some
collar-clothed apes how to get high. If you want to change your
world, remember one thing: Friends motivate people more than laws
motivate people -- be your brother's keeper.